Publisher's Weekly Review
Hamill, a former nonprofit development chief, debuts with this sharp, thoughtful account of his formerly wealthy family's fall and his own coming-of-age. Hamill spent his first six years living a life of privilege at the family compound in 1970s Long Island, watching his parents luxuriate in WASP pastimes of yachting, cocktails, and socializing. But when his grandparents died, they left the clan surprisingly destitute due to "lavish spending and poor investment decisions." The family moved to an upstate farm where everything fell apart: Hamill's parents divorced, and his mom, a beautiful force of nature, took Hamill and his two brothers to her native Bermuda where she despaired of her lost, moneyed life and began drinking. Hamill, meanwhile, didn't fit in on the island and began to question his sexuality. Much of the story has a train wreck quality as Hamill details his mother's drinking, and their tense and antagonistic relationship. It wasn't until he was in his 30s that Hamill accepted his homosexuality and told his disbelieving mother: "A mother like you should have a gay son.... My God, a mother like you makes a gay son." In smooth prose, Hamill's narrative moves gracefully without ever being precious. Fans of difficult family memoirs will want to take a look. (July)
Kirkus Review
A vivid and compelling portrait of a dysfunctional family. For the first eight years of his life, Hamill and his two brothers lived like blue bloods. Their father's family was "pure white-Anglo-Saxon-protestant, Mayflower-descendant, white-butler rich." The only life they knew was filled with servants, private clubs, and luxurious New York real estate. But when his family's "dormant demons were rustled from their slumber" and his parents divorced, the three boys moved to Bermuda with their mother, where she had grown up in a working-class family. The book, Hamill's debut, is not a typical riches-to-rags reversal, though that's a prominent theme. Instead, the author explores in visceral detail how children of addicted caregivers struggle to construct meaning, establish their own identities, and simply survive while living in the wake of a family illness. Hamill is a gifted storyteller, crafting scenes and dialogue that read like a riveting novel. There are casualties in this tale, both real and figurative, but there are also many triumphs. In his early 30s, the author embraced his sexuality as a gay man, a reckoning that arguably took a back seat to all the chaos and collateral damage that surrounded him. Though Hamill is unflinchingly honest about the flaws of all of the characters in the story (including himself), by the end, readers will have at least some affection for each one. The author absorbingly narrates a complicated story fraught with betrayal, abandonment, and grief, and he shows us--via his own recovery--that beauty, pain, and love can all coexist in the same space. "I started to see my mother as somebody caught in darkness," he says, "doing whatever she could to steal glimpses of light, knowing they wouldn't last for long. I saw how brave that was, and how sad." A stunning, deeply satisfying story about how we outlive our upbringings. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
Hamill was born into wealth and privilege. His father was visiting in the family's home in Bermuda in 1963 when he met Wendy at a party. They married quickly and became parents to three boys by their early twenties, yet the Hamills embraced a fast-paced, jet-set life, centered among New York's elite. Thirteen years later, the party ended in divorce, and Wendy took the boys or the "filthy beasts," as she called them, home to Bermuda, where she struggled to make ends meet. As things grew desperate, Wendy essentially took off with a new boyfriend, leaving the boys, ages 11 to 17, on their own. With little parental involvement, the brothers did their best, but inevitable and lasting damage was done. Hamill's honesty in questioning past choices and their consequences as well as his slow realization that he's gay will emotionally engage readers as, telling unvarnished truths about his family, he provides a unique look into a world unknown to most of us. Recommend this memoir to fans of Wild Game (2019) by Adrienne Brodeur and A Forever Family (2018) by Rob Scheer.
Library Journal Review
Writer Hamill is a keen observer of his particular family situation. His father's family wealth declined greatly after the death of an older relative, and his parents and several siblings had to cope with new and reduced circumstances. Divorce, family separation, and alcoholism are the circumstances Mr. Hamill and his brothers face as they relocate with their mother, back to her birthplace in Bermuda. Hamill finds himself caring for a mother drowning her sorrows through alcohol. Their relationship is an especially close one. Hamill deftly tells the story of his family, and his youth, with great love and a perceptive nature. Yet he spares no one, and as he narrates his teenage years and his college adventures, he relates coming to terms with his own sexuality and what it means for himself and his family. Hamill writes of his own experiences, along with those of his friends and family in an entertaining way, yet there is also an acute understanding of the difficulties people face in their daily lives. VERDICT An engrossing family memoir to be read and enjoyed by those facing any number of life's challenges.--Amy Lewontin, Northeastern Univ. Lib., Boston
