Cover image for The manager mom epidemic : how moms got stuck doing everything for their families and what they can do about it
Title:
The manager mom epidemic : how moms got stuck doing everything for their families and what they can do about it
ISBN:
9781492694496
Physical Description:
xvii, 249 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm.
Summary:
The solution to the overload many modern moms feel, The Manager Mom Epidemic shows you how to build a happier family by firing yourself from the 'house manager' position and making each member of the family, from your husband to your youngest child, feel responsible for helping make family life run smoothly. Easy-to-understand and accessible for even the most overwhelmed parent, this book focuses on concrete plans and strategies to ensure Mom (or the primary parent) isn't taking on more than her fair share of the burden of common household tasks such as: Childcare Food shopping and preparation Laundry And more! From assigning household chores to giving up emotional labor, this practical and informative book will teach families to find balance and happiness in sharing the work equally. --
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Summary

Summary

Are you a mom who does it all? This is the book for you.

It's impossible to deny--most moms continue to do way more household work and childcare than most dads. Working full time, raising kids, cooking dinner, making sure every appointment and activity is lined up and that everyone gets there on time... no wonder you're tired! But despite all the books and articles lamenting the crushing mental load and emotional labor women bear for their families, no one has come up with a plan to actually make things change. Until now.

The Manager Mom Epidemicis the first book that not only acknowledges the fact that moms are burning out, but shows you how to transfer responsibility for daily tasks from yourself to your partner and also (gasp!) your kids. Clinical psychologist and child discipline expert Thomas W. Phelan, PhD explains how we got into this mess in the first place, and howwe can get out of it through a calm, systematic approach to teaching our families how to take initiative and contribute in meaningful ways. Dr. Phelan walks you through real-life situations and shows you how to step back from the things that are dragging you down. For example:

Your Maternal Identity--the things you tell yourself you have to do in order to be a "good" mom The oppressive trap of chronic supervision Our society's curious underestimation of children's capabilities How to eliminate primary childcare with tweens and teens How to manager resistant or traditionalist dads

Realistic and simple enough to implement in your home right away, The Manager Mom Epidemicprovides a roadmap for you to take your life back and proves that the happiest families share the work and the fun equally.


Author Notes

Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an internationally renowned expert, author, and lecturer on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. A registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist, he appears frequently on radio and TV. Dr. Phelan practices and works in the western suburbs of Chicago.


Reviews 1

Library Journal Review

Phelan, author of the perennial favorite "1--2--3 Magic" series, here tackles the invisible workload of moms. Moms managing too much results in burnout. How did we get here and what do we do now? Independence Deficit Disorder is rampant among children, says Phelan, and teaching kids to have self-confidence needs to be the long-term goal. By knowing our Mommy ID (inner rules for how mothering activities should be carried out), we can then challenge mind-sets to arrive at more healthy ones. Phelan also addresses barriers from within and without, such as the trap of chronic supervision and how to manage resistant or traditionalist dads, walking readers through a sample process of transferring accountability to other members of the family in a productive way. VERDICT Phelan brings his common-sense yet practical advice to a well-worn parenting issue. As with "1--2--3," this latest will fly off the shelves, so stock up on multiple copies.


Table of Contents

Introduction Do You Feel Like the Family Nag?p. xi
Part I How Did We Get Here?
The Origins and Side Effects of Manager Momp. xix
1 Interpersonal Bonding vs. the Frantic Modern Familyp. 1
2 The Equal Suffering Law: Moms vs. Dadsp. 12
3 Children's Independence vs. Chronic Supervisionp. 23
4 Your Maternal Identity: The Ten Commandmentsp. 34
5 The Killer: Automatic Talkingp. 42
6 Homework: A Manager Mom Case Studyp. 52
Part II How Do I Get Myself Back?
Tools for Escaping Manager Momp. 61
7 What Is Mom Doing Too Much Of?p. 63
8 The ABCs of Responsibility Transfersp. 71
9 Challenging Your Mommy IDp. 80
10 Mom's Declaration of Independencep. 92
11 More Tools for Responsibility Transfersp. 99
Part III Installing a New Regime
Case Studies in Time Liberationp. 113
12 Can a Seven-Year-Old Do His Own Laundry?p. 115
13 Getting Up and Out in the Morning: Temporary Traumap. 129
14 Eliminating Primary Childcare with Tweens and Teensp. 144
15 Guerilla Warfare with Resistant Dadsp. 154
16 Expediting Responsibility Transfersp. 170
17 Cooking, Food Shopping, and Housecleaningp. 179
Part IV Toddlers to Teens
Designing Away the Manager Mom Syndromep. 193
18 Preschoolers: Craziness, Precedents, and Sloppy Trainingp. 195
19 Ages Six through Nine: Basic Trainingp. 205
20 Touchy Teens? Time for Independencep. 211
21 After Manager Momp. 220
Notesp. 229
Indexp. 232
About the Authorp. 250