Cover image for Miss you love you hate you bye
Miss you love you hate you bye
1st ed.
Physical Description:
290 pages : illustrations ; 22 cm.
Zoe and Hannah ("Hank") have been inseparable since they met in elementary school. Zoe is effortlessly popular while Hank hides comfortably in her shadow. When Zoe's parents unexpectedly divorce, Zoe's perfect facade starts cracking. She develops an eating disorder-- and might be self-injuring herself. It is a struggle for Hank to be a leader, but can she find ways to help her best friend before it's too late? --


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A darkly comic and heartbreakingly honest YA novel about finding the courage to help a friend who can't stop hurting herself.

Zoe and Hank (short for Hannah) have been inseparable since they met in elementary school. The leader of the pack, Zoe is effortlessly popular while Hank hides comfortably in her shadow. But when Zoe's parents unexpectedly divorce, Zoe's perfect facade starts cracking little by little. Sinking under the weight of her broken family, Zoe develops an eating disorder. Now she must rely on Hank for help.

Hank struggles to help Zoe; after all, she is used to agreeing, not leading. How can she help her best friend get better before it's too late?

Written partially in letters from Zoe and mostly in narrative from Hank's perspective, Abby Sher's Miss You Love You Hate You Bye is a poignant and eye-opening novel about friendship, mental health, and learning to put yourself first.

Author Notes

Abby Sher is a writer and performer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times , Self , Jane , Elle , and Redbook . She is also the author of All the Ways the World Can End , Breaking Free: True Stories of Girls Who Escaped Modern Slavery , Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn't Stop Praying , and Kissing Snowflakes . Abby has written and performed for the Second City in Chicago and the Upright Citizen's Brigade and Magnet Theater in New York. She lives in New Jersey with her family.

Reviews 3

Horn Book Review

For most of her life, Hannah has idolized her best friend, Zoe: "Zoe was the sun, and I would gladly orbit her in whichever direction she chose." But now, just before their junior year, Hannah (whom Zoe has nicknamed "Hank") is shocked to see how much Zoe has changed. In the wake of her parents' breakup, Zoe has lost weight-a lot of weight-and obsessively attends exercise classes with her mom. She's pursuing internet fame via videos co-starring her new cat, but the scratches on her arms don't look feline to Hank. Hank tries to look past Zoe's unhealthy behaviors, but when she can no longer deny that Zoe is sick, she risks their friendship to get her the help she needs. Watching Zoe's implosion through Hank's eyes is wrenching, and the interspersed letters Zoe sends to Hank later, from an eating disorder facility, underscore Zoe's pain and anger. But the novel-written in a snappy, accessible style that lightens the subject matter without trivializing it-focuses on Hank and the effect Zoe has on her: Hank has neglected her mom and brother, other friendships, and her own interests (she's a talented piano player) in order to follow Zoe's lead. "I wanted to be you so badly," she writes back to Zoe. "And now-slowly-I am trying to figure out who I am without you." Rachel L. Smith May/June 2020 p.132(c) Copyright 2020. The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Kirkus Review

The quiet half of two best friends grapples with growing apart in the wake of her BFF's eating disorder.Hank (Hannah) is dedicated to the electric glow of Zoe, her firecracker bestie. Where Zoe has star quality (and the resume to prove it), Hank is a dedicated audience. It's a symbiotic relationship that gives Zoe the comfort of constant adoration (perfect for a social media junkie) and Hank constant backstage access (great for a girl with "mud-brown hair" and a one-friend focus). The loyalty devolves to something less healthy when Zoe's eating disorder goes unchecked by fully aware Hank. But when a hero has shortcomings, speaking up doesn't happen as easily as trying to avoid a betrayal. Told from Hank's articulate, insightful, and pretty funny perspective, the chapters are punctuated by journal entries from Zoe (brief, chuckleworthy musings on recovery and double-crosses written from rehab). Both girls have tricky home lives (Hank is nervous her mom's boyfriend will dissolve everyone's memory of her dead dad; Zoe's cheating father is divorcing her mother, who is more interested in Pilates and lamenting lost youth than parenting). Though Hank doesn't see herself as captivating as Zoe, she doesn't delve into pitiful self-deprecation (she knows she's smart, loyal, and a talented musician)a narrative choice that makes her eventual confrontation of Zoe believable. All main characters are white; Hank and her mother are Ashkenazi Jews.Here's how to speak up even if it hurts. (Fiction. 14-18) Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Booklist Review

Hank (Hannah) has been Zoe's best friend since forever, but the letter opening this novel from Zoe to Hank tells a different story: Zoe is in a rehabilitation center and blames Hank for getting her put there. Hank, who narrates the story in first person, has been Zoe's rock, always reliable and always supportive. But after a summer apart, Hank can see that Zoe weighs almost nothing and has marks on her arms that she attributes to her new kitten. Hank is unsuccessful in her attempts to talk reasonably with Zoe and continues to enable her until Zoe goes too far, and Hank, fed up, sets up an intervention. Hank's thoughtful, solid, and often poignant narrative is interspersed with Zoe's angry letters to Hank, which eventually start to soften. Hank, meanwhile, gradually begins to establish some healthy boundaries and grows to recognize the difference between friendship and codependency. The unbalanced friendship will resonate with readers, many of whom might recognize the toxicity of the dynamic. Through Hank's story, Sher shows a way out of damaging friendships.