Title:
The Friar's Club bible of jokes, pokes, roasts, and toasts
ISBN:
9781579121662
Publication Information:
New York : Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers : Distributed by Workman Pub. Co., c2001.
Physical Description:
471 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.
General Note:
Includes index.
Subject Term:
Available:*
Library | Call Number | Status |
|---|---|---|
Searching... Stillwater Public Library | R 818.02 FRI | Searching... Unknown |
Bound With These Titles
On Order
Summary
Summary
From the acknowledged "roastmasters" of all time comes the quintessential handbook for public speakers at any occasion, featuring the best one-liners, put-downs, anecdotes and jokes on every conceivable subject.
This giant compendium is organized both by occasion (Bar Mitzvah, 40th Birthday, Sales Presentation) and by subject, everything from Aging to Technology. Featuring words from an array of smart-mouthed celebrities including Dean Martin, Jerry Seinfeld, Don Rickles, George Burns, Ellen DeGeneres and Walter Matthau, it includes tips and tried-and-true techniques for writing and delivering smart, funny, moving and motivational toasts, roasts and speeches. It's the perfect inspiration for wedding toasts, office parties, corporate speeches--or even just spicing up cocktail party small talk. The jokes alone make it a must-have; the advice makes it the public speaker's bible.
Table of Contents
| A Message from Friars Club Proctor Buddy Hackett | p. 15 |
| A Few Opinions from Friar Jeffrey Ross | p. 17 |
| Introduction: Barry Dougherty Explains "Who the Hell Are the Friars?" | p. 19 |
| A Brief History of Toasts | p. 22 |
| Why You Need This Book (Besides the fact that you don't want to make a fool of yourself) | p. 22 |
| Why We Toast, Joke, and Occasionally Roast | p. 24 |
| How to Speak in Public and Not Make a Fool of Yourself (Toasting, joking, and roasting attire included) | p. 24 |
| The Art of Joke-Telling, or How to Be a Good Toastmaster | p. 25 |
| Toasting Etiquette (Why stupid or politically incorrect jokes can work) | p. 27 |
| To Toast or to Joke? | p. 27 |
| Chapter 1 Life and Those Not-So-Little Moments | p. 31 |
| Being Single (This is living?!) | p. 32 |
| Dating (It's hunting time) | p. 35 |
| Engagement (Is this the one?) | p. 45 |
| Marriage (The long haul) | p. 46 |
| In-laws (Hold on, it's going to be a bumpy ride) | p. 77 |
| We're Pregnant (Now you've done it!) | p. 78 |
| Childbirth (Is there pain involved?) | p. 86 |
| Children (You better believe it!) | p. 87 |
| Family (But wait, there's more!) | p. 95 |
| Parents (A lifetime commitment) | p. 98 |
| Grandparents (Yes, your parents had parents) | p. 105 |
| Profile | |
| Milton Berle: "The Biggest Friar of Them All" | p. 96 |
| Chapter 2 It's Party Time | p. 107 |
| It's Your Birthday (...and you can cry if you want to) | p. 108 |
| Sweet Sixteen (...and never been...) | p. 114 |
| 21 (A lucky number?) | p. 115 |
| 30 (...something) | p. 116 |
| Fat and Forty (Lordy, Lordy) | p. 117 |
| When I'm 64 | p. 122 |
| So What, You're 80 | p. 125 |
| Anniversary (You've been together how long?!) | p. 133 |
| First Anniversary (Gotta start somewhere) | p. 137 |
| Silver Anniversary (When a platter won't do) | p. 137 |
| Nozze D'Oro (Golden Night) | p. 139 |
| Party Till the Cows Come Home (When should you wear a lampshade?) | p. 140 |
| Confirmation (Are you sure?) | p. 142 |
| Bar/Bat Mitzvah (Now you are a fountain pen) | p. 143 |
| Bris (Watch the guy with the knife) | p. 147 |
| Profile | |
| Henny Youngman: King of the One-liners | p. 130 |
| Chapter 3 You're Growing Up | p. 149 |
| School Days (Or daze...) | p. 150 |
| Grade School (Prison life begins) | p. 150 |
| High School (No, you can't have the keys) | p. 155 |
| College (Let the games begin) | p. 158 |
| Profile | |
| Who Is Steven Wright? | p. 178 |
| Chapter 4 Rough Times | p. 187 |
| Get Well Soon (Pass the chicken soup) | p. 188 |
| Death (No more soup for you) | p. 192 |
| Funeral (If you have nothing nice to say...) | p. 197 |
| Memorial Service (...don't say these) | p. 200 |
| You're Caught (Get your hand out of the cookie jar) | p. 200 |
| Divorce (Free at last!) | p. 202 |
| Profile | |
| Mae West: The Original "Scandalous Broad" | p. 198 |
| Chapter 5 Off to Work | p. 205 |
| The Dreaded Job Interview | p. 208 |
| First Job (Who is this FICA, and why does he get more money than me?) | p. 209 |
| The Work (Hi-ho, hi-ho ... oh, forget it) | p. 212 |
| Accountants (Count those beans) | p. 222 |
| Actors (Is this any way for a grown person to make a living?) | p. 223 |
| Advertising (New and improved) | p. 224 |
| Agents (Fifteen percent of your ass is mine) | p. 224 |
| Construction (If you build it...) | p. 225 |
| Dentists (Open wide...your wallet, that is) | p. 226 |
| Doctors (This won't hurt a bit...except your wallet, that is) | p. 228 |
| Lawyers (Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe) | p. 240 |
| Models (Can you spell gorgeous? I guess not. So what.) | p. 245 |
| Nurses (Hey, that thing is cold!) | p. 251 |
| Salesperson (Come out, come out, wherever you are) | p. 252 |
| Productivity (More work for me) | p. 253 |
| Announcing Great Results (Like I care) | p. 258 |
| Motivational Speech (Did you say something?) | p. 258 |
| Getting a Promotion (That brown-nosing paid off) | p. 262 |
| Getting Fried (Not enough brown-nosing) | p. 263 |
| Retirement/Going Away Party (I gave you my life, and all I got was this watch) | p. 264 |
| Profile | |
| Rodney Dangerfield: Lovable Loser | p. 260 |
| Chapter 6 Happy Holidays | p. 267 |
| New Year's (A license to kiss) | p. 268 |
| Valentine's Day (Blissfully happy, or lonely loser?) | p. 271 |
| St. Patrick's Day (Start drinking at 9:00 A.M...) | p. 275 |
| Fourth of July (I saw fireworks) | p. 276 |
| Halloween (Yes, you can wear ladies' clothes) | p. 277 |
| Thanksgiving (Start by being grateful for St. Patrick's Day) | p. 280 |
| Christmas (Deck those halls) | p. 282 |
| Profile | |
| Phyllis Diller: What a Face | p. 272 |
| Chapter 7 The Media Circus | p. 285 |
| Books (Like movies, but you have to work) | p. 288 |
| The Book Signing (I didn't know you could read one, let alone write one) | p. 294 |
| Movies (Like TV shows, but you have to pay) | p. 294 |
| The Big Premiere (I want to thank all the little people...) | p. 299 |
| Television (A thousand channels and nothing to watch) | p. 300 |
| Profile | |
| Groucho Marx: "You Bet Your Life" | p. 290 |
| Chapter 8 Battle of the Sexes | p. 303 |
| Men (Lord of the remote control) | p. 305 |
| High Holy Days (Poker night, Super Bowl Sunday, and The Final Four) | p. 313 |
| Bachelor Party (Does anyone have change for a $20?) | p. 322 |
| The Confirmed Bachelor (Just say it...he's gay) | p. 325 |
| Women (Forget the "B" word, and don't even think about the "C" word) | p. 326 |
| Blondes (How many does it take...?) | p. 335 |
| Baby Showers (Better you than me) | p. 343 |
| Bridal Showers (Better me than you) | p. 343 |
| Bachelorette Party (What are we supposed to do at these things again?) | p. 344 |
| The Confirmed Bachelorette (You can tell by the shoes) | p. 346 |
| Profile | |
| Billy Crystal: "Face" | p. 310 |
| Chapter 9 Politics--How to Be the Life of the Party | p. 349 |
| Meet the Pundits (The lunatics have taken over the asylum) | p. 352 |
| Working for the People (Elevating lying to a fine art) | p. 361 |
| Profile | |
| Rita Rudner: High Anxiety | p. 362 |
| Chapter 10 It's Just a Game--Isn't It? | p. 375 |
| Baseball (A stick and a couple of balls) | p. 376 |
| Basketball (More ball jokes) | p. 378 |
| Bowling (Please, no more ball jokes) | p. 379 |
| Boxing (This is a sport?) | p. 380 |
| Fishing (THIS is a sport?) | p. 381 |
| Football (What fun, I can't feel my toes...) | p. 383 |
| Golf (Who came up with the outfits?) | p. 385 |
| Skiing (I'm in complete controllllllllllllllll) | p. 395 |
| Skydiving (When "oops" matters) | p. 396 |
| Tennis (More balls) | p. 397 |
| Gambling (Don't bet the ranch) | p. 398 |
| Profile | |
| Drew Carey: "Regular Guy" | p. 390 |
| Chapter 11 All the World Is a Joke | p. 401 |
| Ethnic/Regional (No, nothing is sacred) | p. 402 |
| Texans (Guns, oil, and a pick-up) | p. 408 |
| Americans (You bet!) | p. 411 |
| New Yorkers (You talkin' to me?) | p. 412 |
| Canadian (Sorry, my mind wandered...) | p. 413 |
| Irish (Enough said) | p. 415 |
| Italian (Points for the food) | p. 418 |
| Polish (No points for the food) | p. 419 |
| Russians (...are coming) | p. 419 |
| WASPs (Cocktail time) | p. 420 |
| Religion (Hallelujah!) | p. 421 |
| Amish (Is nothing sacred?) | p. 422 |
| Catholics (Bless me, Father...) | p. 423 |
| Christians (Fire and brimstone) | p. 432 |
| Jews (See, also, the rest of this book) | p. 435 |
| Mormons (Take my wives...) | p. 447 |
| Miscellany (Wit, wisdom...whatever) | p. 450 |
| Profile | |
| Jerry Seinfeld: "Did you ever notice...?" | p. 448 |
| Index of Contributors | p. 469 |
| Acknowledgments | p. 473 |
SD_ILS:98836
9781579121662
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