Okay fine whatever : the year I went from being afraid of everything to only being afraid of most things

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Title:

Okay fine whatever : the year I went from being afraid of everything to only being afraid of most things

Author:

Hameister, Courtenay, author.

ISBN:

9780316395700

Edition:

1st ed.

Physical Description:

vii, 307 pages ; 22 cm.

General Note:

"Portions of essays in this book have appeared on Live wire! radio and Back fence PDX, in Portland monthly magazine, Oregon humanities magazine, and on GoLocalPDX"--Title page verso.

Contents:

Introduction: Getting plucky -- Stepping down : wherein I unknowingly plant the seeds for a series of tiny adventures -- The sensory deprivation tank : in which I spend a terrifying ninety minutes in a bath of warm water -- Casa Diablo : in which a stripper's vagina and a blind chihuahua cause me to send a monumental text -- A little bit of background : wherein I attempt to explain my dating situation -- Adventures in dating I : winter, spring, and how Microsoft Excel turned me into an asshole -- A Brazilian in Portland : wherein I discover a border I'd rather not cross again -- Adventures in dating II : summer, the season of underboob and back-of-knee sweat -- Getting legally high : in which I learn that some people just shouldn't smoke pot -- Dating the polyamorous I : in which I develop an aversion to soccer equipment -- Dating the polyamorous II : in which I learn who the boss is, and it's not Judith Light -- Build-your-own-burrito-night at the sex club : wherein I am disappointed by public sex and tortillas -- An hour with a professional cuddler : wherein I learn not to hate affirmation ... as much -- Water aerobics : in which I learn how to make myself feel (relatively) young and attractive -- Adventures in dating III : winter is coming -- Fellatio class : wherein I learn that there are ways in which my oral fixation makes me an overachiever -- Adventures in intimacy : wherein I test the boundaries of affection and my bladder -- The MRI : wherein I go on a medical adventure of my own making and it is louder than expected -- One last leap : wherein I do the thing I should've done years ago and try not to wallow in regret -- The epilogue that's really just another chapter : wherein I attempt to tell you why you just read this whole fucking book.

Personal Subject:

Hameister, Courtenay.

Subject Term:

Anxiety disorders -- Patients -- United States -- Humor.

Anxiety disorders -- Humor.

Anxiety.

Anxiety disorders -- Alternative treatment.

Phobias.

Fear.

Summary:

The story of one chronically anxious woman's hilarious yearlong quest to change her own timid nature by seeking out the kinds of experiences she's spent her life avoiding. For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. What she should say to the guy chatting with her at this party and whether or not people noticed her sweating and how likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home. Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her--things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope." Things like attending a fellatio class. She did that. She also spent an afternoon in a sensory deprivation tank, got (legally) high in the middle of a workday, had a session with a professional cuddler, braved twenty-eight first dates, and (perhaps scariest of all) actually met someone who might possibly appreciate her for who she is. Refreshing, relatable, and pee-your-pants funny, Okay Fine Whatever is Hameister's hold-nothing-back account of her adventures on the front lines of Mere Human Woman vs. Fear, reminding us that even the tiniest amount of bravery is still bravery, and that no matter who you are, it's possible to fight complacency and become bold, or at least bold-ish, a little at a time. --

Holds:

Available:*

Library	Call Number	Status
Searching... Park Grove Library (Cottage Grove)	152.46 HAM	Searching... Unknown
Searching... R.H. Stafford Library (Woodbury)	152.46 HAM	Searching... Unknown

Bound With These Titles

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Summary

The "hilarious and poignant" story of one chronically anxious woman's quest to become braver by seeking out the kinds of experiences she's spent her life avoiding (Cheryl Strayed).

For most of her life (and even during her years as the host of a popular radio show), Courtenay Hameister lived in a state of near-constant dread and anxiety. She fretted about everything. Her age. Her size. Her romantic prospects. How likely it was that she would get hit by a bus on the way home.

Until a couple years ago, when, in her mid-forties, she decided to fight back against her debilitating anxieties by spending a year doing little things that scared her -- things that the average person might consider doing for a half second before deciding: "nope."

Things like: attending a fellatio class. She did that. She also spent an afternoon in a sensory deprivation tank, got (legally) high in the middle of a workday, had a session with a professional cuddler, braved twenty-eight first dates, and (perhaps scariest of all) actually met someone who might possibly appreciate her for who she is.

Refreshing, relatable, and pee-your-pants funny, Okay Fine Whatever is Courtenay's hold-nothing-back account of her adventures on the front lines of Mere Human Woman vs. Fear, reminding us that even the tiniest amount of bravery is still bravery, and that no matter who you are, it's possible to fight complacency and become bold, or at least bold-ish, a little at a time.

Author Notes

Courtenay Hameister is a professional nervous person. During her twelve years as host and head writer for Live Wire , a nationally-syndicated public radio show, she interviewed over 500 intimidating people and wrote 200 personal essays in bursts of anxiety-fueled inspiration at midnight the night before each show. Her work has also been featured in McSweeney's , APM's Marketplace , More Magazine , and some scathing emails to the customer service department at Macy's.

Reviews (3)

Publisher's Weekly Review

Hameister, former host and head writer of the Portland radio show Live Wire!, undertakes an amusing, if perhaps overly insular, rumination on various experiences she has subjected herself to in order to combat severe anxiety. Those with similar conditions will find her tone encouraging throughout, as when she describes the reason for taking on her "Okay Fine Whatever" project: "I thought if I could create a situation in which I was forced to try new things... I might actually become braver... I might even eventually become a badass." She describes a wide variety of small boundary-pushing experiences, including 90 minutes spent in a sensory deprivation tank, forays into polyamory, and an evening at a vegan strip club, which she leaves feeling "far dirtier for pretending to be 'chill' than I did for watching naked women gyrate all night." She also shares personal reflections, most notably on her desire for male approval. Her amused, sometimes snarky writing style will surely resonate with young hipsters but seems less likely to reach a wider readership. Nonetheless, Hameister's frankness about her struggles with anxiety may prove helpful to readers facing their own internal confrontations. Agent: Laurie Fox, Linda Chester Agency. (July) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Kirkus Review

A former Live Wire! host's account of the year she spent facing the "sometimes crippling anxiety" that ruled her life.Hameister had always been a "toe-dipper. A cringe-r. A wait-and-see-er." Yet few people knew, just as they did not know that she struggled with generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. After suffering an especially massive anxiety attack in the spring of 2013, the author not only stepped down from her position at Live Wire!; she also decided to "do things that scared me and then write about them." She began by facing her fear of enclosed spaces and the darkness by going into a sensory deprivation tank. Her success inspired her to push forward into another realm that was especially terrifying to her: dating. The 40-something Hameister, who had struggled with weight issues for most of her life, had only had relationships with two people, both of whom she met through friends. The author was able to find dates online, but her ever present neurosis led her to create a spreadsheet (that she later dispensed with) to help sort through and rank all her options. After enduring the agony of a Brazilian wax to boost her body confidence, she had encounters with an array of men, including a polyamorous "ethical slut" and a bald jazz DJ most memorable for his ability to see past Hameister's uncontrollable nervous sweating. Her other "firsts" included a pot-smoking session that ended in hospitalization, a deeper plunge into the world of polyamory, a visit to a swinger's club, an hour with a professional cuddler, and a class in oral sex. Her edgy adventures unexpectedly led to a relationship with a quiet father of two teenage children who gave her the acceptance she thought she would never find. The author not only chronicles how she faced her inner demons and won; she also offers a reminder that doing even the smallest thing to conquer fear "is enough to change a lot."A fresh, intelligent memoir. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Booklist Review

Prolific radio-talk-show personality Hameister hosted the Portland-based Live Wire! for 12 years. Unbeknownst to interviewees and fans, Hameister was suffering from crippling obsessive-compulsive disorder, in addition to a lifetime of generalized anxiety disorder, or GAD. In this memoir, she shares the successes and epic failures of her recent Okay Fine Whatever project, an attempt to overcome fear by engaging in dozens of terrifying activities. This series of self-inflicted dares includes an hour in a sensory deprivation tank, a Brazilian bikini wax, a trip to a professional cuddler, an evening at a sex club, and 28 internet-matched first dates. Each of these endeavors teaches Hameister something new about what she wants from her life beyond GAD. There is a tremendous amount of pain (wax) and a tremendous amount of courage (sitting on a futon at a sex club). By the end of the project, Hameister finds a version of peace and new ways to love the things that make her unique, anxiety included. Inspiring, poignant, and laugh-out-loud funny.--Eathorne, Courtney Copyright 2010 Booklist

Introduction: Getting Plucky	p. 3
Stepping Down: Wherein I Unknowingly Plant the Seeds for a Series of Tiny Adventures	p. 9
The Sensory Deprivation Tank: In Which I Spend a Terrifying Ninety Minutes in a Bath of Warm Water	p. 26
Case Diablo: In Which a Stripper's Vagina and a Blind Chihuahua Cause Me to Send a Monumental Text	p. 40
A Little Bit of Background: Wherein I Attempt to Explain My Dating Situation	p. 55
Adentures in Dating I: Winter, Spring, and How Microsoft Excel Turned Me into an Asshole	p. 76
A Brazilian in Portland: Wherein I Discover a Border I'd Rather Not Cross Again	p. 94
Adventures in Dating II: Summer, the Season of Underboob and Back-of-Knee Sweat	p. 106
Getting Legally High: In Which I Learn That Some People Just Shouldn't Smoke Pot	p. 120
Dating the Polyamorous I: In Which I Develop an Aversion to Soccer Equipment	p. 137
Dating the Polyamorons II: In Which I Learn Who the Boss Is, and It's Not Judith Light	p. 153
Build-Your-Own-Burrito-Night at the Sex Club: Wherein I Am Disappointed by Public Sex and Tortillas	p. 166
An Hour with a Professional Cuddler: Wherein I Learn Not to Hate Affirmations ... As Much.	p. 185
Water Aerobics: In Which I Learn How to Make Myself Feel (Relatively) Young and Attractive	p. 206
Adventures in Dating III: Winter Is Coming	p. 220
Fellatio Class: Wherein I Learn That There Are Ways in Which My Oral Fixation Makes Me an Overachiever	p. 239
Adventures in Intimacy: Wherein I Test the Boundaries of Affection and My Bladder	p. 252
The MPI: Wherein I Go on a Medical Adventure of My Own Making and It Is Louder Than Expected	p. 260
One Last Leap: Wherein I Do the Thing I Should've Done Years Ago and Try Not to Wallow in Regret	p. 279
The Epilogue That's Really Just Another Chapter: Wherein I Attempt to Tell You Why You Just Read This Whole Fucking Book	p. 290
Acknowledgments	p. 303

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Bound With These Titles

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Summary

Summary

Author Notes

Reviews (3)

Publisher's Weekly Review

Kirkus Review

Booklist Review

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