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Summary
Summary
This inspiring memoir by the Muslim American Gold Star father and captivating DNC speaker is the story of one family's pursuit of the American dream.
NAMED ONE OF THE FIVE BEST MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR BY THE WASHINGTON POST
"Moving . . . a story about family and faith, told with a poet's sensibility . . . Khizr Khan's book can teach all of us what real American patriotism looks like." -- The New York Times Book Review
In fewer than three hundred words, Khizr Khan electrified viewers around the world when he took the stage at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. And when he offered to lend Donald Trump his own much-read and dog-eared pocket Constitution, his gesture perfectly encapsulated the feelings of millions. But who was that man, standing beside his wife, extolling the promises and virtues of the U.S. Constitution?
In this urgent and timeless immigrant story, we learn that Khizr Khan has been many things. He was the oldest of ten children born to farmers in Pakistan, and a curious and thoughtful boy who listened rapt as his grandfather recited Rumi beneath the moonlight. He was a university student who read the Declaration of Independence and was awestruck by what might be possible in life. He was a hopeful suitor, awkwardly but earnestly trying to win the heart of a woman far out of his league. He was a brilliant and diligent young family man who worked two jobs to save enough money to put himself through Harvard Law School. He was a loving father who, having instilled in his children the ideals that brought him and his wife to America--the sense of shared dignity and mutual responsibility--tragically lost his son, an Army captain killed while protecting his base camp in Iraq. He was and is a patriot, and a fierce advocate for the rights, dignities, and values enshrined in the American system.
An American Family shows us who Khizr Khan and millions of other American immigrants are, and why--especially in these tumultuous times--we must not be afraid to step forward for what we believe in when it matters most.
Praise for An American Family
" An American Family is a small but lovely immigrant's journey, full of carefully observed details from the order in which Ghazala served tea at a university event, to the schedule of the police patrols in the Boston Public Garden where Khan briefly slept while he was in between apartments, to the description of Humayun's headstone as a 'slab of white marble with soft streaks the color of wood smoke.'" --Alyssa Rosenberg, The Washington Post
Author Notes
Khizr Khan, the eldest of ten children, was born in rural Pakistan in 1950. He moved to the United States with his wife, Ghazala, in 1980. The couple became American citizens and raised their three sons in Silver Spring, Maryland. Their middle son, U.S. Army captain Humayun Khan, a graduate of the University of Virginia and its Army ROTC program, was killed in 2004 while stopping a suicide attack near Baqubah, Iraq, and was posthumously awarded a Purple Heart and Bronze Star. Khizr Khan holds a B.A. degree from the University of the Punjab, an LL.B. from Punjab University Law College, and an LL.M. from Harvard Law School. He is a member of the Bar of the Supreme Court of the United States, the District of Columbia Bar, the New York State Bar, and the American Bar Association. Khan's law practice includes complex civil litigation, electronic discovery, health privacy compliance law, and civil rights and veterans' rights advocacy. He and Ghazala live in Charlottesville, Virginia.
Reviews (5)
Publisher's Weekly Review
Khan, a Pakistani-American immigrant whose 2016 Democratic National Convention speech condemned Donald Trump for his treatment of Muslim Americans, reveals more about his family, including the life and death of his son Humayun, a U.S. army captain killed in Iraq. Khan's voice is steady throughout the book, though there are moments-not only when describing the death of his son, but also early on when recounting his sorrow at being separated from his parents as a boy, or the joy of first discovering the U.S. Constitution-when he is audibly overcome by emotion. (That's true for listeners as well; many will be hard-pressed to get to the end of this beautiful memoir without crying.) There are also unexpected moments of wry humor throughout, and Khan proves himself to have a skill for comic timing, like when he quips, "There had been no sexual revolution in Pakistan," after describing his cluelessness at how to court the woman whom he would eventually marry. This moving memoir is made all the more powerful when heard in the voice of the author. A Random House hardcover. (Oct.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Booklist Review
As a young law student in a small Pakistani city, Khan, a son of farmers, had already been smitten by the principles of the U.S. Constitution. But even he could never have imagined that his moment in the limelight would come when he openly challenged presidential candidate Donald Trump about his proposed Muslim ban at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. Khan's wide-eyed and eloquent memoir traces his family's history from the subcontinent to American citizenship and the tragic loss of his son, Captain Humayun Khan, in Iraq. A sense of wonder about America's promise peppers the entire narrative, even as he recounts his early struggles in the country while supporting his wife and three boys. Khan's rose-colored glasses occasionally camouflage the harsher aspects of the immigrant narrative. So while he hints at wife Ghazala's loneliness, especially after their son's death, his memoir is focused on one sunny goal: the Khan family's enthusiastic embrace of the American dream. This account is especially resonant now that we know where the family moved after their loss: Charlottesville, Virginia. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: Much attention will be paid to this memoir by the Muslim American Gold Star father who galvanized the country at the 2016 Democratic National Convention.--Apte, Poornima Copyright 2017 Booklist
New York Review of Books Review
president trump's delay in reaching out to the families of four American soldiers killed in Niger in October, and the ensuing discussion among Gold Star families about his actions, recalls an earlier controversy involving Khizr Khan, the father of a fallen soldier, who spoke at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. On the final night of the convention, Khan took the stage with his wife, Ghazala, and in an electrifying moment, he pulled from his pocket a small copy of the Constitution. "Donald Trump, you are asking Americans to trust you with our future," he said. "Let me ask you: Have you even read the U.S. Constitution? I will gladly lend you my copy." The crowd exploded in applause. Few people had ever heard of Khan or knew of the sacrifice he and his wife had made for their adopted country before the couple took the stage. Their son Army Capt. Humayun Khan was killed by a car bomb in Iraq in 2004, and Hillary Clinton's campaign highlighted Captain Khan's life and death in a short film that played before his father spoke. But the point was not just to honor the tragic loss of yet another brave American soldier; it was to repudiate the bigotry that had been spewing from Donald Trump's mouth from the moment he announced his candidacy for president. Whether his target was Muslims or Mexicans, Trump had been insulting, taunting and threatening groups he disagreed with for more than a year, pledging to ban all Muslims from entering the United States and calling Mexicans "rapists." Khan had had enough. A Pakistani-born and Harvard-trained lawyer, a Muslim, but, most important, a patriotic, naturalized American citizen, Khizr Khan revered the Constitution. He came to Philadelphia to teach Donald Trump a lesson. Trump's response was to pick on Khan's wife, questioning why she was just "standing there" with "nothing to say," adding that the Clinton campaign had probably written Khan's speech for him. With his moving memoir, "An American Family," Khizr Khan has disproved that calumny. "An American Family: A Memoir of Hope and Sacrifice" is as much the universal story of the immigrant experience in America as it is the story of one particular family's struggles and sacrifice. Like most immigrants, Khan came to America seeking opportunity, in his case the chance to advance his education. When he arrived in Houston in 1979, Khan didn't expect to stay beyond the time it would take him to earn and save enough to attend Harvard, which had accepted him for a master of law degree but whose tuition he couldn't yet afford. Khan had already fallen in love with the idea of America, with the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, which he'd stumbled across almost by accident as a young law student in Pakistan. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights," Khan read from a sheaf of papers he'd picked up at a bookstore in Lahore. "The thing is, those truths were not remotely self-evident. Not to a young man in Pakistan and not to most people in the whole of human existence," he writes. "But to me, a student in Pakistan, they were radically charged - as revolutionary as they'd been two centuries earlier when they were fixed to paper." Thus began Khan's long journey to becoming an American, a journey that took him from Pakistan, where his family were poor farmers, to university and law school, to his first job in Dubai, his marriage to Ghazala, the birth of three sons and finally to Harvard, to Washington, to Charlottesville, Va., and into the homes of millions of Americans on national television. Along the way, he sometimes faced grueling poverty but also the kindness of strangers, including American oil company workers he encountered in Dubai. "Were all Americans like this?" he asked himself after his employer and the man's wife gave him an apartment to live in, furnished it and stocked the refrigerator. "Did a nation of laws, of equal dignity for all, instill in its people a basic goodness?" he wondered, a question he answered affirmatively when he moved to America and was met with generosity from neighbors and others of all races and creeds. Khan's book is also a story about family and faith, told with a poet's sensibility. Ghazala Khan may have stood silently next to her husband in Philadelphia - out of grief, perhaps - but Khan depicts her as a learned scholar with a master's degree in Persian, whom he fell in love with instantly but had to woo over the objections of her mother, who was unimpressed by the prospects of a struggling law student. Their faith imbues every facet of their lives; but it is a tolerant, modern Islam, the kind practiced by most Muslims living in the United States and around the world. The book is a wonderful refutation of Trump's nativism and bigotry, but it is no partisan polemic. Khan invokes Ronald Reagan's vision of a shining city on a hill several times in the book, a man Khan calls "my president," and for whom he says he would have voted had he been a citizen at the time. "I am an American patriot," Khan writes near the end of his book, "not because I was born here but because I was not. I embraced American freedoms, raised my children to cherish and revere them, lost a son who swore an oath to defend them, because I come from a place where they do not exist." Khizr Khan's book can teach all of us what real American patriotism looks like, even President Trump. The book is a wonderful refutation of Trump's nativism and bigotry, but it is no partisan polemic. linda chavez is the author of "An Unlikely Conservative: The Transformation of an Ex-Liberal" and served in President Reagan's White House as director of public liaison.
Kirkus Review
A politically pointed immigrant success story mingled with equally pointed tragedy.A native of Pakistan, Khan thought of America as a land of cowboyswhen, that is, he thought of anything other than enduring homegrown oppression. "If you have lived half of your life under martial law and the rest in a swirl of political chaos," he writes meaningfully, "Western ideals aren't readily in your orbit." Those ideals came to him in the form of an encounter with the Declaration of Independence and its profession of equality and inalienable rights. He found his way to America and Harvard Law, reveling in the civil order that he found nothing short of marvelous while rediscovering the Islam of his birth in its tolerant mode, not the "brutal theocracy" that interpreted the religion back home. Khan, in short, charts the nuanced evolution of an American patriot, one whose son was killed by a car bomb while serving as an Army officer in Iraq. Capt. Humayan Saqib Muazzam Khan was proclaimed a hero and posthumously earned the Bronze Star and Purple Heart for bravery in combat, to which his father characteristically adds a small wrinkle: "My son was dead because he was trying to make sure a stranger wasn't killed by mistake. He stayed true to the shape of his heart." So, it seems, did the father, who became an earnest critic of Donald Trump during the 2016 presidential campaign, berating him for his anti-immigrant agitation and his penchant for "stirring the worst of human nature." All those credentials, of course, explain why Khan was asked to speak at the Democratic National Convention, introduced by his son's hero, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and elevated to national attention in the bargain. Self-effacing, the author writes movingly of the events leading up to that moment, which he feared, correctly, might expose him to direct attack on the part of Trump himself. Khan's aspirational memoir reminds us all why Americans should welcome newcomers from all lands. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Library Journal Review
Khan relates the journey he and his family undertook from Pakistan to America. He tells of separations and sacrifice to achieve the goal supporting his family and living in freedom. The oldest child of Pakistani farmers, Khan worked hard to become a lawyer in Pakistan. During that time, he became intrigued by the U.S. Constitution. The Khans settled in Texas and Khan eventually attended Harvard. The couple had three sons, one of whom entered the U.S. Army after serving in ROTC through college. Humayun Khan became a captain and was killed while serving in Iraq in 2004. Khan eloquently paints a picture of a parent's grief and the measures the family took to cope with that loss. The Khans, Khizr and his wife, Ghazala, were asked to speak at the Democratic National Convention in 2016. Long an admirer of Ronald Reagan and John McCain, Khan accepted the invitation. As head of a patriotic American Muslim family, Khan expressed his unhappiness with the current divisiveness of the United States and his hope that Americans would revere and honor the Constitution, promising freedom of religion and of speech. -VERDICT This thoughtful book is an excellent read for anyone concerned about the increasing polarization of America. ["Khan's depiction of his family's loss serves as a poignant reminder of what military families sacrifice in service to their country, which the Khans have done with -exemplary stoicism and grace": LJ 10/15/17 review of the Random hc.]-Cheryl Youse, Norman Park, GA © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Excerpts
Excerpts
Chapter 1 Shoeless in a Shaft of Sunlight I carried a sheaf of papers almost as thick as my hand to the third floor of my dorm on New Campus, just across the canal from the academic buildings. My room was small and sparse, just a metal desk with a matching chair and a small electric fan to blow away a little of the Pakistani heat. It suited me. My clothes were tucked neatly into a closet, and my bed was a cotton mattress on the floor. There had been an iron bed frame, but it was too short for me, so out it went. Sleeping on the floor was better for my back, anyway. I slipped off my shoes and dropped the pile on the desk. It landed with a flat, dull thump. There was no textbook for my course in Comparative Constitutions of the World, just this pile of unbound papers, curated by the professor and kept behind the counter at a cramped bookshop in the old Anarkali bazaar. It was the oldest marketplace in Lahore, a kaleidoscope of fruit stands and food carts and stalls that sold cloth and spices and produce and a thousand other goods, almost anything anyone might want to buy. The air was perfumed with cardamom and the smoky-sweet tang of grilled meat that gradually curdled into a stink of horse dung and diesel and human sweat; and the alleys were crowded with rickshaws and taxis overflowing with passengers and packages. Horses pulled buggies and left droppings on the paths. Skinny men hauled large carts with unreasonably heavy loads. In the jittering splendor of Anarkali, I always noticed them, saw what poverty could force a meek man to do to earn a few rupees. It'd taken me forty minutes by bus to get to the shop, then another forty back through the unrelenting traffic of Lahore. When I got to my room, a shaft of late afternoon sun slanted through the window. Printed across the top page was constitution of the united states. Below that, deeper in the stack, were the constitutions of the Soviet Union, a fat ream of interminable articles and clauses, and of West Germany, slimmer, I would discover, but just as dull, as well as the Magna Carta. I hadn't bothered skimming any of them as I rode the bus back through the potholed and rutted streets. It seemed too much trouble to be juggling pages of legalese while bouncing beside sweaty commuters. But now, standing alone at my desk with the kind of half-bored curiosity one tends to feel in a burgeoning dusk, I turned the page. The Constitution was not on the next one. Instead, the title on the second page was declaration of independence. Those were curious words, the way they were arranged into an aggressive noun. I rolled them around in my head. To declare your independence. I declare my independence. My spine tingled, straightened, a quick, involuntary spasm. I'd grasped, in that moment, a remarkable insight, a great and improbable truth I'd never conceived to be possible. In January 1972, I was a college graduate, fluent in three languages and studying law. But I knew almost nothing of America. Very few of us at the University of the Punjab did. The little I did know I'd learned from movies with forgettable titles, and those mostly involved cowboys. I'd studied none of the history or politics. I had no concept of independence as something that could be declared or demanded. If you have lived half of your life under martial law and the rest in a swirl of political chaos, Western ideals aren't readily in your orbit. The idea that people could simply announce they were taking charge of their own affairs was so bold as to be unimaginable. It had never occurred to me. There's a long, elegant sentence at the beginning of the Declaration of Independence about how when people dissolve the political bands which have connected them to another, they owe mankind the courtesy of explaining why. Even ignorant of the specifics, I recognized that sentence for what it was: a polite introduction to treason, the codification of a rebellion. We hold these truths to be self-evident . . . I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, too intrigued to stop reading long enough to find my chair. . . . that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness . . . The thing is, those truths were not remotely self-evident. Not to a young man in Pakistan and not to most people in the whole of human existence. It did not matter if men were created equal. From my own experiences, I knew that men were sorted into strongmen and dictators; rich men who didn't need a ration card to buy a bag of sugar; desperate, determined men who were beaten by police in the street; and, mostly, masses of the poor and illiterate who struggled to survive from season to season. Rights were not unalienable. There were only tenuous privileges granted by capricious powers, which meant that they were not rights at all. There were no rights. I don't know how long I stood there, shoeless in that shaft of sunlight. The Declaration is not a long document, only thirteen hundred words, but I read conscientiously, deliberately, too enthralled to move. I'd never been so struck by a few sentences, ideas and ideals that, for a moment, removed me from where I was to where it was possible to be. Most Americans inherit the principles in those first paragraphs as a birthright. To many of them, the words are just dusty history, studied in a civics class, half-forgotten. But to me, a student in Pakistan, they were radically charged--as revolutionary as they'd been two centuries earlier when they were fixed to paper. I kept reading, through a list of grievances. I had no idea who'd written the Declaration, nor against whom those grievances had been lodged. But thenI realized: That didn't matter. This wasn't only foreign history. This was our story, too. The story of Pakistan, the story of the subcontinent, the story, really, of all colonized peoples everywhere and in every era. This was my story and my parents' story and my grandparents' story before them. Except the Americans apparently had figured out a different ending than we had. I shook off a creeping numbness in my legs, pulled the Declaration from its place atop the pile, and sat down on my mattress on the floor, my back against the wall. I'd read it first with a student's curiosity. Now I had to read it as a researcher on the cusp of a breakthrough, picking through the details, examining the clauses and phrases, fitting them into a precise and unified theory. To know the whole, I needed to understand each piece. I was like a lonesome islander who'd found a bottle washed up on the beach, a secret script tucked inside that told of a wonderland, a fantastical place that existed, improbably and perhaps impossibly, far across the ocean. I needed to explore it, to set my mind deep into the words, let them absorb me, take me to a place so different from where I was. "Okay, we have to go, Muazzam." My father smiled at me. Like everyone else, he called me by my middle name. He looked at his watch, a Camy on a gold band that wrapped around his wrist, but we all knew it was getting late in the day. The sky above my grandparents' courtyard blushed with the first pinks of sunset. "The bus will come soon," he said. "Time to pack up." In the morning, my grandfather had walked to the butcher to buy meat in his neighborhood in Gujranwala, a small industrial city an hour north of Lahore. Sometimes he would get a cut of goat and sometimes beef and sometimes, but not often because it was special and expensive, chicken. Sometimes, the butcher would whisper, "I won't sell you meat today," which meant the cuts in his shop were fatty or rancid or nearly so, and he would send my grandfather away with nothing. Today, my grandfather had bought goat. My mother and my grandmother cooked in the kitchen at the back of my grandparents' courtyard. There was rice, of course, and also a sweet rice because it was sort of a celebration, all of us together for the first time in a month. Vegetables were washed under water drawn from the kitchen pump. There was no refrigerator, and no electricity anyway, so what vegetables ended up on the table was a crafty calculus of what was available from the market and what would keep the longest. Turnips, potatoes, onions, and garlic could wait in a cool and dark corner until they sprouted eyes and new green shoots. Spinach would wilt in the summer heat and so had to be eaten immediately, but lettuce and cucumbers could survive a day or two. I played with my brother and my sister on the packed clay of the courtyard. I was six years old, the first of my parents' ten children. A new sibling came on a regular two-year cycle. When I turned eight, there were four of us, three brothers and a sister; at ten, there was another brother, and so on until there were five brothers and five sisters. But then, when I was six, it was just the three of us. We ate in the middle of the afternoon. My father waited to sit until his own father sat, and then waited some more until his mother told him to sit. He always deferred to his parents. If my grandmother had announced that the sky had turned green, he would have nodded and said, "Yes, Mother." That was how a child treated his elders, with respect even if it meant that sort of silly deference. Over dinner, the adults spoke mainly of the extended family, of who was marrying whom, where a cousin had moved and why, about a nephew who'd finished university and begun a professional career. The afternoon wore on until the bright azure above the courtyard dulled to dusty cobalt edged with pink and orange. My father looked at his watch and told us it was time to leave. I had come to hate sunsets. Sunsets meant saying goodbye. My mother fussed with my brother and sister, found their shoes, settled them. The rest of us sorted the leftover food, then stacked the plates in the center of a small tablecloth that we bound up by the corners and tied into a satchel I always insisted on carrying. Then the five of us went through the door from the courtyard to the street. The bus stop was about a quarter of a mile away, and we walked along the side of the brick road. Dread settled into my stomach, and with every step it rose, burbling up through my chest, into my throat. I hated those walks. The bus came. My father got on first, which he usually did, so he could survey the seats, who was sitting where, and, if he had to, ask someone to move so he could keep his family together. People were surprisingly accommodating to such a request. My brother and sister followed. My mother hugged me. "I love you, Muazzam," she said. "We'll see you soon." She kissed me on the top of the head and climbed on the bus. I ran to the other side, into the street. I always hoped they would sit on the street side, where passengers weren't pressed against the windows to see what the sidewalk vendors were hawking, and I could watch them for a few moments while the bus idled and coughed exhaust into the evening air. I waved and smiled an oversized smile. The bus pulled away and I ran to the other side of the street, where there was a small hill. I scrambled to the top. The road was long and flat, and from up there I could watch the bus shrink into the distance until it was only a tiny blur. My eyes teared. I started to cry, and then I sobbed, great, hyperventilating heaves, alone at the top of a hill in the dusk. I lived with my grandparents, as I'd done for so long that I had no memory of having been sent there. There was no particular reason, other than my grandparents were retired and had no children at home and wanted my father's firstborn to raise. I never asked why, never begged my mother to let me get on the bus, never pleaded to come home, because to do so would have been ungrateful and rude. Why shouldn't I be content with this blessing? My grandparents didn't have to divide their attention among three children. I was their only concern. Besides, one did not question his elders. But that didn't make it hurt any less. They schooled me at home. They believed there were many varieties of children in the local schools, and they preferred I not associate with several of them--the disobedient, the slothful, the unserious. When I got a little older and learned to play cricket, they would walk with me to the pitch and wait and watch, and when it was over, when the other boys went wherever it was boys went, they walked me home. There were two neighbor boys who came to play, but not often. And I had pets for a while, two chickens that hatched from eggs my grandparents hid in the nests pigeons had burrowed into one of the mud walls of the house. When they were little and yellow and downy, I chased them around with a handful of feed and a bowl of water. When they were grown, with talons and beaks, they chased me around, hungry or maybe playing but scaring me onto my cot until my grandmother shooed them away. But other than that, and visits from my parents, it was mostly just my grandparents and me. I did learn, though. My grandparents were friends with some local teachers who would give them the textbooks the other children were studying. History, civics, Islamic studies, mathematics. Books were my constant companions, my reliable friends. I read during the day and at night in the courtyard by the glow of the kerosene lamp, and when it was extinguished and I was supposed to be asleep, I would find a volume I'd hidden under my pillow and read in the moonlight. Excerpted from An American Family: A Memoir of Hope and Sacrifice by Khizr Khan All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
Table of Contents
Introduction | p. ix |
Chapter 1 Shoeless in a Shaft of Sunlight | p. 3 |
Chapter 2 Twenty-One Sparrows | p. 32 |
Chapter 3 A Stick Becomes a Ney | p. 57 |
Chapter 4 Tomorrow Will Be Better | p. 77 |
Chapter 5 The Wonders of the DMV | p. 113 |
Chapter 6 Already American | p. 138 |
Chapter 7 No Man Is Complete Until His Education Is Complete | p. 147 |
Chapter 8 Shining City | p. 165 |
Chapter 9 Baba | p. 188 |
Chapter 10 Always Be a River | p. 222 |
Chapter 11 God Is Found Among the People | p. 229 |
Afterword | p. 265 |
Acknowledgments | p. 269 |