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Library | Call Number | Status |
|---|---|---|
Searching... Hardwood Creek Library (Forest Lake) | 649.132 GUR | Searching... Unknown |
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Summary
Summary
Describes how family relationships, mentors, role models, and support from schools and the community are necessary to raise boys successfully.
Author Notes
Michael Gurian is an educator, family therapist, and author of fourteen books, including the bestselling The Wonder of Boys, A Fine Young Man, and The Good Son. He is an internationally celebrated speaker and writer whose work has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Time, and other national publications, as well as on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, and numerous other broadcast media.
Reviews (3)
Publisher's Weekly Review
Yes, boys and girls are different, says Washington state family therapist Gurian (Mothers, Sons and Lovers), urging that society learn how to deal creatively with gender-specific needs. In considering the cultural effects of heightened gender consciousness, Gurian warns of the dangers of "enmeshing male development with a female culture in transition." Outlining biological differences, he explains that boys are "hard-wired" to possess certain traits. Because of male brain chemistry and the hormone testosterone, boys are apt, for example, to relish risk-taking and to be physically aggressive and competitive (violence, he claims is not hard-wired, but learned through culture). What Gurian adds to this generally recognized background material is a persuasive summons to society, specifically parents, educators and communities, to unite to channel these traits in positive directions. Sports, for instance, allow competition but also teach responsibility. Work, nature study, music and spiritual pursuits are other positive channels. Gurian, who has also lived in Europe, Asia and the Middle East, suggests that we in the U.S. have grown away from beneficial rites of passageand toward "isolated, tremulous, family systems." In this shift, he contends, boys have been abandoned, and he urges that society reclaim responsibility for the moral and spiritual upbringing of young males, with guidance offered by elder mentors and support coming from extended family or community. Writing in a calm, compassionate voice, Gurian delivers a compelling call to action. 50,000 first printing; author tour. (Oct.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Booklist Review
Gurian believes that parents are making a significant mistake when they try to eliminate competition and aggression in young boys. Parents try this because they feel such behavior leads to antisocial conduct. But, Gurian argues, because of the presence of testosterone in the male body, "aggression and physical risk-taking are programmed into boys." If this biological imperative is ignored or attempts are made to sidestep it, boys will find other, usually negative ways to express themselves. And such behaviors will continue into adulthood. Gurian's option is to provide structured competition, strong male role models, mentors, "healthy discipline," and a commitment to teaching boys moral and social values. He also recognizes the importance of the mother-son relationship and discusses ways to strengthen it plus reasons that sons sometimes pull away from mothers. A thought-provoking and pragmatic look at boys and their lives. --Brian McCombie
Library Journal Review
Family therapist Gurian (Mothers, Sons, and Lovers, LJ 12/93) offers a sweeping look at what makes boys and men act the way they do. He begins by thoroughly defining gender differences. Citing the strong push to hunt and reproduce, he argues that men need to compete and do combat and that society must accommodate these needs more productively. A boy needs a tribe, says Gurian, and not one but three families (birth or adoptive parents, extended families, and culture/community) are required to help him become a healthy man. Also, Gurian stresses discipline, spiritual principles, and "husbandry," which he defines as "generating and maintaining stable relationships with self, family, community, culture, and earth." All told, there is much to ponder and much to challenge readers here. On the other hand, Jungian analyst Rutter (Woman Changing Woman, LJ 7/93) begins with a large chip on her shoulder, whining from the start that girls are subjected to unbelievable pressures that diminish their self-esteem. Though she seeks to "celebrate" womanhood, the result is the oppositethe tone turns ever inward, focusing almost solely on issues of self-worth. Rutter praises rites of passage, coming-of-age ceremonies, and informal rituals (e.g., sharing a candlelit bath with your daughter, buying a first bra together) as the keys to enhancing self-esteem. She also recommends books and films that she feels reproduce positive images for women, including Thelma and Louise. Ultimately, however, what Rutter seems to be doing is turning mothers and daughters into members of a self-absorbed "me" generation. Not recommended.Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
