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Summary
Summary
A psychologist explores the intersection of love and madness through the riveting stories of the patients he has treated
In The Incurable Romantic, Frank Tallis recounts the extraordinary stories of patients who are, quite literally, madly in love: a woman becomes utterly convinced that her dentist is secretly infatuated with her and drives him to leave the country; a man destroys his massive fortune through trysts with over three thousand prostitutes -- because his ego requires that they fall in love with him; a beautiful woman's pathological jealousy destroys the men who love her. Along the way, we learn a great deal about the history of psychiatry and the role of neuroscience in addressing disordered love. Elegantly written and infused with deep sympathy, The Incurable Romantic shows how all of us can become a bit crazy in love.
Author Notes
Frank Tallis is a clinical psychologist and the author of over fifteen books, including The Incurable Romantic: And Other Tales of Madness and Desire . He previously taught clinical psychology at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology, and Neuroscience at King's College, London. He lives in London and Bonnieux, France.
Reviews (4)
Publisher's Weekly Review
This thoughtful study from British psychologist and mystery novelist Tallis (Mephisto Waltz) comprises 11 tales from his own practice touching on a single theme: people who "have experienced significant distress attributable to falling in love or being in love." He posits this as a neglected field in modern psychology. Tallis recalls that during the eight years he spent studying to become a clinical psychologist, only one hour was devoted to the subject, though love, which often involves delusions and obsessions, can sometimes seem a form of psychopathology. Perhaps the tales that best illustrate this are those of a married woman infatuated with her oral surgeon and convinced, against all evidence, that he reciprocates; of a successful businessman who approaches bankruptcy because of his hypersexuality (he estimates that he has been involved with 3,000 prostitutes); and of a guilt-ridden pedophile who struggles mightily to resist his attraction to the young daughter of a friend. Tallis has a graceful narrative style, easily incorporating brief digressions on deeper philosophical issues such as free will versus determinism. Most importantly, his book is suffused with compassion, avoiding facile categorization and struggling to understand and empathize with his patients as people in pain, often anguish, because of the love they feel. (Sept.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Kirkus Review
A veteran clinical psychologist in the U.K. recounts some of his cases involving those tormented by Cupid, Eros, and all the other love gods who meddle in our affairs. In his latest, Talliswho has published both novels (Mephisto Waltz, 2018, etc.) and works of nonfiction (Hidden Minds: A History of the Unconscious, 2012, etc.)deals with an assortment of cases, ranging from a man devastated by a breakup to a pedophile to those suffering from unrequited love. Throughout, the author maintains an appealing self-deprecation. He regrets things he said (or didn't say); he realizes he's not being effective; he worries about the patients who left his care for various reasons. He also displays evidence of his wide reading, and not just in the literature of psychology. He alludes to such figures as Thomas Mann, Shakespeare, Goethe, and Agatha Christie. He also includes elements of his own biography: We learn about the breakup of his first marriage, his two sons (more than 20 years apart in age), and his education and experiences in a variety of clinical settings. But the patients' stories remain prominent as Tallis explores the physiology and the psychology of human love. He discusses Darwinian aspects of it, and he chronicles his observation of a human brain (do slivers of memory remain?). Mostly, the author reveals how difficult it is for us to deal with imperfect lovei.e., with virtual types of love. Doubt, jealousy, depression, guilt, regret, ebullienceall course through the narrative. We also see how reluctant we can be even to talk about these emotions and experiences. Tallis' patientslike the rest of us?conceal and modify and even prevaricate as they tell their wrenching love stories.Moving, at times disturbing, and revealinglike having a productive, revelatory discussion with a trusted friend. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
The link between love and mental health is at the heart of this unusual study by a British clinical psychologist. Recounting adventures in psychotherapy sessions with patients, Tallis explores the nature of love. How does it work? Is love primarily an evolutionary imperative that promotes procreation and safeguards child-rearing? Or maybe a mishmash of pheromones, neurotransmitters, and hormones? Even an illness (love sickness) or form of madness? Love is wondrous but can be dangerous. Unrequited love is sometimes a cause of suicide. The faces of love in these clinical encounters include paranoid jealousy, delusions of infidelity, extreme infatuation, and persistent grief. A widow claims to repeatedly see the ghost of her husband in the bedroom. A sex-addicted man admits to relationships with 3,000 prostitutes because he enjoys courting and romancing them. Another man who has sex with prostitutes blames his behavior on demonic possession. A married woman experiences love at first sight with her dentist and becomes obsessed with him. The 1961 song ""Love Makes the World Go 'Round"" surely has the right message. But these head-spinning tales of love gone wrong provide a murkier, threatening flip side.--Tony Miksanek Copyright 2018 Booklist
Library Journal Review
Is there such a thing as lovesickness, and, if so, what is it? Here Tallis, a clinical psychologist, concentrates his years of experience on the problems of passion and infatuation. Each person who enters his office for therapy is a unique being broken by love. We are allowed to sit and listen alongside Tallis, though client anonymity is preserved. The stories these individuals tell about their obsessive yearnings reveal ever new and nuanced shades of desire. Simon Shepherd's reading is excellent, and the entire production is enthralling. There are plenty of surprise revelations in each of Tallis's conversations as he strains to help clients think clearly through their powerful feelings. VERDICT Recommended for the armchair psycho-analyst in all of us, anyone who believes people are living stories, and those who appreciate works that delve into the psychological experience of love.-Denis Frias, -Mississauga Lib. Syst., Ont. © Copyright 2019. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Table of Contents
| Preface | p. ix |
| 1 The Barrister's Clerk: Love that accepts no denial | p. 1 |
| 2 The Haunted Bedroom: Ageless passion | p. 33 |
| 3 The Woman Who Wasn't There: Suspicion and destructive love | p. 53 |
| 4 The Man Who Had Everything: Addicted to love | p. 89 |
| 5 The Incurable Romantic: On the impossibility of perfect love | p. 109 |
| 6 The American Evangelist: Sins of the flesh | p. 141 |
| 7 The Stocking Game: Dr B and Fräulein O-a cautionary tale | p. 169 |
| 8 Narcissus: Desire reflected | p. 185 |
| 9 The Night Porter: Guilt and self-deception | p. 205 |
| 10 The 'Good' Paedophile: Tainted love | p. 241 |
| 11 The Couple: Improbable love | p. 263 |
| 12 Brain Guts: Love dissected | p. 271 |
| Acknowledgments | p. 281 |
