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Summary
Summary
* Wrenching, provocative, and surprisingly funny: After twenty years of living with terminal illness, Zoe's mother decided to end her life--and asked her three daughters for their assistance. For months, the decision drags on as her mother changes her methods and schedule, and the negotiations stir up old memories, sibling rivalries, and questions about family loyalty. Eventually there is compromise and courage and Zoe's mother has her happy -- if imperfect -- ending..
* A controversial subject--assisted suicide: Zoe and her sisters struggle to accept the imminent death of their mother, circling around the same questions: Who will help her? Will they go to jail? Can they bear to let her die alone? With a doctor prescribing lethal doses of sleep medication, a visit from a member of the Hemlock Society's "Final Exit Network," and the temptations of overdosing on morphine, the issues and people in Imperfect Endings are at the center of the debate on assisted suicide. .
* An award-winning new voice: An acclaimed journalist, Zoe won first place in the 2008 Pacific Northwest Writers' Association literary contest and was a finalist at the San Francisco Writer's Conference for Imperfect Endings . .
Reviews (4)
Publisher's Weekly Review
A deceptively cheery tale about her mother's plans to end her own life underscores the author's conflicted role in filial caring and responsibility. Carter's mother, a widow living in Washington, D.C., had suffered from Parkinson's disease for more than 20 years, and by 2001 had grown debilitated and depressed about her physical helplessness; she had joined the Hemlock Society and was actively making plans to kill herself, to the consternation of her three daughters. Carter, who is the youngest of the sisters, living in San Francisco with her husband and two small children, seemed the closest emotionally to her mother, and flew back and forth to accommodate her erratic schedule at "ending things." Armed with a lethal supply of Seconal and morphine, the mother nevertheless vacillated about what to do, as her daughters (and their partners) debated the effectiveness and legal ramifications of her assisted suicide, even suggesting she was being manipulative and controlling. Although there are poignant memories of childhood and early family life, this memoir perhaps unavoidably dwells on the author's needs and wishes, rather than the mother's. In the end, the family rallied around her painful decision, and though Carter attempts to preserve her mother's dying dignity, her account frequently jars, with its grimly glib celebratory tone. (Mar.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Booklist Review
After living with Parkinson's for 20 years, Carter's headstrong mother, Margaret, decides she wants to end her life and have her three daughters by her side when she goes. It's a decision that leaves Carter, the youngest and long the favorite child, in distress. Will her mother really go through with it, and if so, how soon? Margaret, it turns out, has already contacted the Hemlock Society. Bookshelves loaded with literature about death and dying further attest to her convictions. Carter, who lives in Northern California, frequently visits Margaret in Georgetown, doing her best to stay composed. (It's especially difficult when her mother keeps changing the date on which she wants to die.) Eldest sibling Katherine distances herself from the situation, while sister Hannah is a reliable source of moral and emotional support. Carter alternates the account of her mother's final months with chapters about her childhood, complete with tales of sibling rivalries and her alcoholic, womanizing father. Carter tackles a depressing subject with dark humor and heart.--Block, Allison Copyright 2010 Booklist
Kirkus Review
A poignant memoir of a daughter's struggle to accept her mother's death. In 2000, Carter's 75-year-old mother began exploring the possibility of assisted suicide. Having suffered from Parkinson's disease for 20 years, she didn't want to face the reality of increasing incapacity. The author explores her own grief and anger as she tried to understand and support the decision. She felt betrayed by her mother's casual attitude and her unwillingness to consider her daughter's pain. When she phoned to set the date"I've been trying to find a good time to end thingsI was hoping that weekend might work for you"Carter reluctantly left her husband and two young daughters in San Francisco and arrived in Washington, D.C., on the appointed date, only to learn that her mother had changed her mind. This pattern of vacillation continued for months, as her mother tried to decide how she wanted to die. She demanded that her three daughters be on hand to assist her suicide, despite their unwillingness. Not only did they find it difficult to accept her eagerness to die, but they feared being prosecuted for an illegal act. With a journalistic flair to her prose, Carter chronicles the months from January 2001 until her mother's death in July, as well as events in her earlier life. She memorably examines the complex dynamics within her dysfunctional family, including the rivalries and bonds between the sisters. Wishing she could stay away, she thought of her mother dying "alone in her big empty bed," and her "petulance turn[ed] to shame." Carter comes to a deeper, more compassionate understanding of her mother's life, and she is ultimately able to surmount her grief and affirm her mother's decision. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Library Journal Review
First-time memoirist Carter comes close to perfection in this chronicle of her mother's quest to orchestrate her own assisted suicide. Suffering from debilitating Parkinson's disease, Carter's elderly mother decides that she wants to die with dignity before she is wholly incapacitated. One problem with assisted suicide, however, is that it requires assistance, and no one in the family is willing to take on such complicity. With surprising humor and sensitivity, Carter presents the struggle to come to terms with mortality and family dynamics. A counterpoint to Derek Humphry's Final Exit and winner of the 2008 Pacific Northwest Writers Association's literary contest.-Lynne C. Maxwell, Villanova Univ. Sch. of Law Lib., PA (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Excerpts
Excerpts
View JANUARY 2001 I don't have to answer the phone. On my knees in the bathroom, daughters just settled into the tub, I have the perfect excuse to ignore it. Let the machine pick it up instead. But I push off my knees and head for the door, my brain several steps behind my body as it usually is by this time of day. Only then do I pause, reluctant to leave the steamy warmth of the bathroom, the giddiness of my naked children who are lolling at one end of the tub, pouring water on each other. At four and eight, Lane and Clara are hardly at risk for drowning, but I remind them to be careful--keep the water in the tub, hold off on the shampoo--and step out into the bedroom. Shading my eyes from the blinding late-day sun, I cross the room, glancing out at the glimmering strip of the San Francisco Bay and, just beyond it, the hazy outline of the Golden Gate. Four years on the West Coast and this view of water and sky still thrills me. I pick up the phone, annoyed with myself for answering it, sure it's someone calling to either sell me something or beg something from me. "Oh, there you are! Have I caught you at a bad time?" It's my mother. Her voice sounds cheerful and a little excited, as if she has good news. "I was just looking at my calendar and wondering if you could come to D.C. the first weekend of February." "I'm not sure. I'll have to check. What's up?" I drop onto the bed, heart beginning to clamor. I know what's up. "Well gosh, honey, I've been trying to find a good time to end things as you know, and I was hoping that weekend might work for you. I haven't called your sisters yet, but of course I want them here too. And your girls if you can bring them. I'm still working out the details, but--" "Jesus, Momma," I hiss, cupping my hand over my mouth so Clara and Lane can't hear me. "You make it sound like a family reunion!" "Well, there's no reason to get huffy, Zoe," she says. "I can't plan anything unless I know you girls are available. Can you just take a quick peek at your calendar?" "No, I can't! I'm in the middle of giving my kids a bath, I don't have my calendar, and I can't think about this right now." "Fine." Her irritation is palpable and for a moment there is silence. "So when can you call me back?" I want to say never. I will never call her back if she insists on talking about killing herself. But I think of her lying alone in her big empty bed, of her dying alone because her daughters weren't willing to show up, and my petulance turns to shame. "I'll call you tomorrow." "Okay, sweetie." Her voice is cheerful again. "That would be great. Talk to you then!" I stand up and look out the window, the sounds of splashing and laughter faint in the background, as if my daughters--or, for that matter, my entire life--had just receded into the distance. I watch the last burning rays of sunlight disappear behind Mount Tamalpais, the vast, glorious landscape slowly turning from gold to gray. © 2010 Zoe FitzGerald Carter Excerpted from Imperfect Endings: A Daughter's Tale of Life and Death by Zoe FitzGerald Carter All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
