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Summary
Summary
Why does Skippy, a fourteen-year-old boy at Dublin's venerable Seabrook College, end up dead on the floor of the local doughnut shop?
Could it have something to do with his friend Ruprecht Van Doren, an overweight genius who is determined to open a portal into a parallel universe using ten-dimensional string theory?
Could it involve Carl, the teenage drug dealer and borderline psychotic who is Skippy's rival in love?
Or could "the Automator" - the ruthless, smooth-talking headmaster intent on modernizing the school - have something to hide?
Why Skippy dies and what happens next is the subject of this dazzling and uproarious novel, unraveling a mystery that links the boys of Seabrook College to their parents and teachers in ways nobody could have imagined. With a cast of characters that ranges from hip-hop-loving fourteen-year-old Eoin "MC Sexecutioner" Flynn to basketballplaying midget Philip Kilfether, packed with questions and answers on everything from Ritalin, to M-theory, to bungee jumping, to the hidden meaning of the poetry of Robert Frost, Skippy Dies is a heartfelt, hilarious portrait of the pain, joy, and occasional beauty of adolescence, and a tragic depiction of a world always happy to sacrifice its weakest members. As the twenty-first century enters its teenage years, this is a breathtaking novel from a young writer who will come to define his generation.
Author Notes
Paul Murray was born in 1975. He studied English literature at Trinity College in Dublin and creative writing at the University of East Anglia. His first novel, An Evening of Long Goodbyes , was short-listed for the Whitbread Prize in 2003 and was nominated for the Kerry Irish Fiction Award. Skippy Dies , his second novel, was long-listed for the Booker prize and was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award.
Reviews (6)
Publisher's Weekly Review
While there is an undeniable similarity between this long novel and another popular series featuring an adolescent protagonist who, along with his friends, gets into all kinds of mischief at a haunted boarding school, the two works couldn't be more different; this is a decidedly adult novel. The primary plot charts the brief life of 14-year-old Daniel "Skippy" Juster, a student at Seabrook Academy, an elite junior high school in Dublin. Skippy is smitten with Lori, who attends the neighboring girls' school, but has a problem: Lori's sort of boyfriend, Carl, is a sociopathic drug dealer. Another major narrative follows Skippy's history teacher, Howard "The Coward," a man equally infatuated with WWI and Miss McIntyre, a fellow teacher. With dark humor, Murray examines adolescent sexuality in an age of texting, video games, and the casual use of pharmaceuticals. Murray nails the banter of junior high, the nuance of middle-age yearning, and the excitement of string theory, and shows mastery in weaving disparate elements into a cohesive and engaging narrative. This is one of the darkest and funniest novels in recent memory. (Sept.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Booklist Review
*Starred Review* It's no spoiler to acknowledge that Skippy, the main character in Murray's second novel, does indeed die, since the boy is a goner by page 5 of the prologue. Following his character's untimely demise, Murray takes the reader back in time to learn more about the sweetly engaging Skippy a 14-year-old student at a historic Catholic boys' school in Dublin and his friends Ruprecht, a near genius who is passionately interested in string theory; Mario, a self-styled lothario; and Dennis, the resident cynic. We also meet the girl with whom Skippy is hopelessly in love, Lori, and his bête noire, Carl, a drug-dealing, psychopathic fellow student who is also in love with Lori. The faculty have their innings, too, especially the history teacher Howard (the Coward) Fallon, who has also fallen in love he with the alluring substitute teacher Miss McIntyre. And then there is the truly dreadful assistant principal, Greg Costigan. In this darkly comic novel of adolescence (in some cases arrested), we also learn about the unexpected consequences of Skippy's death, something of contemporary Irish life, and a great deal about the intersections of science and metaphysics and the ineluctable interconnectedness of the past and the present. At 672 pages, this is an extremely ambitious and complex novel, filled with parallels, with sometimes recondite references to Irish folklore, with quantum physics, and with much more. Hilarious, haunting, and heartbreaking, it is inarguably among the most memorable novels of the year to date.--Cart, Michael Copyright 2010 Booklist
New York Review of Books Review
A BOARDING school in the British Isles. Reverent children huddle in a gloomy chamber, watching as one of their fellow students assays a devilishly difficult trick. The boy's hand trembles. And then - success! A jet of fire, a "cold and beautiful purple-blue enchantment," fills the ancient tower with an indescribable illumination. Is this Hogwarts? Are these boys practicing spells that might one day protect the world from evil? No, it's Seabrook College, the Dublin boys' school of Paul Murray's heartfelt and profane new novel, "Skippy Dies" - and that "magnificent plume of flame" isn't coming from a wand. Boys in close quarters will always, always find a way to make their own miracles. The extravagantly entertaining "Skippy Dies" chronicles a single catastrophic autumn at Seabrook from a good 20 different perspectives: students, teachers, administrators, priests, girlfriends, doughnut shop managers. At the center of it all is Daniel Juster, known as Skippy, whose death - on the floor of Ed's Doughnut House, just after writing his beloved's name on the floor in raspberry filling - opens the novel. "Skippy Dies" then flashes back to the months preceding, months in which the gloomy, doomed 14-year-old falls in love, wins a fight, keeps a secret and attracts the attention of members of the faculty who do not have his best interests at heart. Along the way we get to know Skippy's friends and tormentors, each drawn with great affection: Ruprecht, Skippy's doughy genius roommate, who pursues experiments in string theory despite spending much of his time head-down in the toilet; Dennis, "an arch-cynic whose very dreams are sarcastic"; Carl, Skippy's romantic rival and a budding psychopath; Lori, the possibly unworthy object of Skippy's affections, who's obsessed with a Britney-like pop tart and who keeps her diet pills hidden in her teddy bear's tummy. And Mario, sweet, stupid Mario, son of an Italian diplomat, whose obsession with sex would become tiresome if it weren't a source of so many richly comic dormroom conversations: "He flips open his wallet. 'Read it and weep, boys. It is my lucky condom, which never fails.' "A silence, as Mario smugly returns his wallet to his pocket, and then, clearing his throat, Dennis says, 'Uh, Mario, in what way exactly is there anything lucky about that condom?' "'Never fails,' Mario repeats, a little defensively. "'But - ' Dennis pinches his fingers to his nose, brow furrowed ' - I mean, if it was really a lucky condom, wouldn't you have used it by now?' '"How long have you had it in there, Mario?' Geoff says. "'Three years,' Mario says." Our guide to Seabrook's staff room, meanwhile, is "Howard the Coward" Fallon, Seabrook '93, once a Skippyish nerd but now a history teacher at his alma mater. (The book is set in the early part of this decade, in the midst of the Celtic Tiger economic boom.) "I suppose I thought there'd be more of a narrative arc," Howard, working on an early midlife crisis, confides to a colleague, even though his life has in fact been a perfectly structured disappointment - beginning with that persistent schoolboy nickname, through his failure as a futures trader, up to his current position trying to get snoozing nitwits to care about World War I. In a reflective moment, Howard thinks that his classes themselves resemble trench warfare, "a huge amount of labor and bloodshed for a dismally small area of terrain." So uninterested in the past are his students that they indiscriminately refer to any time before today as "days of Yore." But when he attempts to jump-start the boys' enthusiasm with an impromptu excursion to a war memorial, he's berated by Seabrook's efficiency-obsessed acting principal: "Do you think this is some kind of a 'Dead Poets Society' situation we're in here, is that it?" Living with a nice American writer whom he can't bring himself to marry, Howard is as adrift romantically as he is professionally. He's ripe for an awakening, and it comes courtesy of Aurelie McIntyre, a fetching substitute geography teacher whose presence has turned the entire student body into dazed geography buffs. She empties Howard's mind just as effectively, for the adults of Seabrook are as in thrall to their whims and appetites as their spotty, shame-faced students are. That's not always a source of comedy, of course, especially to readers for whom the book's religious-school setting will call to mind a decade of news about the sexual abuse of children by priests. "Skippy Dies" doesn't shy away from this issue. In fact, Seabrook's students come to suspect a priest of abuse, although it's to Murray's credit that the man is neither exactly as guilty as you think, nor quite as blameless as you might hope. In fact, the ambitious length of "Skippy Dies" allows Murray to take on any number of fascinating themes. One of the great pleasures of this novel is how confidently he addresses such disparate topics as quantum physics, video games, early-20th-century mysticism, celebrity infatuation, drug dealing, Irish folklore and pornography - as well as the sad story of the all-Irish D Company of the Seventh Royal Dublin Fusiliers, sent to their doom at Gallipoli in 1915. There's even room for an indecent close reading of Robert Frost's "Road Not Taken" that's so weirdly convincing I'll never again be able to read that poem without sniggering. Murray confidently brings these strands together, knitting them into an energetic plot that concerns Skippy's death - and his roommates' attempts to contact him afterward - but also expands into an elegy for lost youth. For Murray remembers, better than most writers, the "grim de-dreamification" of growing up. You won't be a pop singer or a ninja superspy in the future. You won't be exceptional at all, despite the promises of TV, video games and your parents. "Santa Claus," Murray notes, "was just the tip of the iceberg." One night, Skippy's roommate wonders about the asymmetricality of the universe, and of love. As Skippy lies in his bed, listening to Lori's favorite song and thinking of her, Ruprecht realizes that Lori could well be listening to the same song but thinking of someone else, who in turn is thinking of someone else, and so on. "Rather than a universe of neatly reciprocating pairs, love and love-returned fluttering through space nicely and symmetrically like so many pairs of butterfly wings," Ruprecht muses, "instead we get chains of yearning, which sprawl and meander and culminate in an infinite number of dead ends." "Our universe," miserable, unloved Ruprecht realizes, "is actually built out of loneliness." Six hundred sixty-one pages may seem like a lot to devote to a bunch of flatulence-obsessed kids, but that daunting length is part and parcel of the cause to which "Skippy Dies," in the end, is most devoted. Teenagers, though they may not always act like it, are human beings, and their sadness and loneliness (and their triumphs, no matter how temporary) are as momentous as any adult's. And novels about them - if they're as smart and funny and touching as "Skippy Dies" - can be just as long as they like. Students juggle quantum physics, video games, Victorian mysticism, drug dealing and pornography. Dan Kois is the author of "Facing Future," about the Hawaiian musician Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. He reviews films for The Washington Post and The Village Voice, and is a contributing writer at New York magazine.
Guardian Review
The arrival of Skippy Dies is wonderful news on several fronts. First and foremost, it is at last a new novel by Paul Murray. His debut, the criminally underread An Evening of Long Goodbyes, was shortlisted for the Whitbread First Novel Award in 2003. A hilarious satire of the new Ireland told through the eyes of a clueless young man with aristocratic pretensions, it was also the last we would hear from Murray for seven long years. But now, finally, it's apparent what he's been up to all this time: writing the 661 glorious pages of Skippy Dies, one of the most enjoyable, funny and moving reads of this young new year. Skippy is Daniel "Skippy" Juster, so nicknamed because of his unfortunate resemblance to a certain TV kangaroo. He's a boarder at Seabrook College, an expensive Catholic school in Dublin, and is at that unfortunate age where "suddenly everyone was tall and gangling and talking about drinking and sperm. Walking among them is like being in a BO-smelling forest." Skippy's best friend is the corpulent computer genius Ruprecht, and the novel opens with Ruprecht and Skippy having a doughnut-eating race at Ed's, the local hangout for Seabrook students. To Ruprecht's baffled horror, Skippy collapses off his chair. He isn't choking, but there's nothing Ruprecht can do except watch as Skippy writes "Tell Lori" on the floor in doughnut jam before expiring. The story then rewinds and expands, encompassing not only what Skippy meant and who Lori is, but also Howard the Coward, a history teacher returned in shame from an abortive career in the City. Spending most of his time failing to avoid the obnoxious attentions of the management speak-spouting acting head, Howard lives with his American girlfriend Halley, who fell for him because he was "Irish-looking", "by which she meant a collection of indistinct features - pale skin, mousy hair, general air of ill-health - that combine to mysteriously powerful romantic effect". Howard, though, has his head turned by beautiful substitute teacher Miss McIntyre who, in their first conversation, tells him: "You know, I'm not going to sleep with you." She does, of course, with disastrous results, especially for the Halloween dance they're supposed to be chaperoning at the time. It's at this dance that Skippy finally finds the courage to talk to Lori, an out-of-his-league beauty from girls' school St Brigid's across the road. Lori, however, has fallen into a dangerous infatuation with drug-dealing Carl, not so much a school bully as a psychotic criminal in training. Carl doesn't take lightly to rivals. This is only the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more sprawled across these pages, and Murray is terrific at nearly all of it. He's brilliant, for example, on the painfully poignant combination of credulity and cynicism that defines being 14 years old. Skippy's classmates will listen with complete belief as Ruprecht discloses his plans to open a door to alternate universes and then say, feelingly, "I wish I was in the 11th dimension. With some porn." As with all the best comic novels, though, a dark heart beats underneath, and Murray doesn't shy away from difficult material. Skippy's collapse doesn't appear where you think it will chronologically, and Murray takes the time to explore the aftermath. There is tenderness, too, and heartache and real pain. Ruprecht even uses string theory to prove that the universe might literally be "built out of loneliness", which is exactly what adolescence feels like. Is a 661-page boarding-school comedy, no matter how funny or touching, rather too much of a good thing? Perhaps here and there, but for the most part, Skippy Dies is so appealing and surprising that the pages pass with ease. Even better, Hamish Hamilton has very cleverly packaged it as three slim volumes in an attractive box set. One more reason to immerse yourself in a rare tragicomedy that's both genuinely tragic and genuinely comedic. Patrick Ness's The Ask and the Answer is published by Walker Books. To order Skippy Dies for pounds 17.99 with free UK p&p call Guardian book service on 0330 333 6846. Caption: article-nessmurray.1 Skippy's best friend is the corpulent computer genius Ruprecht, and the novel opens with Ruprecht and Skippy having a doughnut-eating race at Ed's, the local hangout for Seabrook students. To Ruprecht's baffled horror, Skippy collapses off his chair. He isn't choking, but there's nothing Ruprecht can do except watch as Skippy writes "Tell Lori" on the floor in doughnut jam before expiring. [Howard], though, has his head turned by beautiful substitute teacher Miss McIntyre who, in their first conversation, tells him: "You know, I'm not going to sleep with you." She does, of course, with disastrous results, especially for the Halloween dance they're supposed to be chaperoning at the time. It's at this dance that Skippy finally finds the courage to talk to [Lori], an out-of-his-league beauty from girls' school St Brigid's across the road. Lori, however, has fallen into a dangerous infatuation with drug-dealing Carl, not so much a school bully as a psychotic criminal in training. Carl doesn't take lightly to rivals. - Patrick Ness.
Kirkus Review
If Harry Potter lived in an alternate Ireland, had no real magical powers but talked a good game, and fell all over himself every time he saw a girl, he might well belong in this splendid, sardonic magnum opus.It seems safe to guess that Dublin resident Murray (An Evening of Long Goodbyes, 2004) knows the world of boarding schools, of drab dorms, fetid hallways and teenaged lads with their layers on layers of desperation. It seems even safer to guess, though, that unlike Seabrook College for boys, his Ruprecht Van Doren has no exact counterpart in real life. While the others lust after the girls in the prep school next door, Ruprechtwho "arrived at Seabrook in January, like a belated and non-returnable Christmas gift, after both his parents were lost on a kayaking expedition up the Amazon"is exercising his weird brilliance by opening portals into parallel universes and confounding post-Newtonian physics. All the same, he's a fairly normal kid compared to some of the others, devout in his studies, hand up in class, quick to volunteer for extracurricular activities. Out in the hall, after all, there are thugs and drugs, kids steeped in Vietnam films and antinomianism, other kids lost in their own dismal worlds. The grown-ups aren't too much different; one teacher who is only ten years out of Seabrook himself has visions of the place in flames, while another seeks to find his way across the generation gap to find out just what junior is thinking. Throughout lurk the ghosts of the dead of World War I and the tutelary spirit of Robert Graves, odd sightings of whose memoir Goodbye to All That dot Murray's narrative. Oh, and then there's a fatal doughnut-eating contest as well, whence the title. Murray wanders confidently through the torments of the adolescent imagination, and he delivers a rollicking tale worthy of a Stephen Dedalusbut a lot more comprehensible.Long and impossibly involved, but also beautifully written, with much truth and not a wasted word. A superb imagining of a strange worldthat of pimply-faced kids, that is. Alternate universes, too.]] Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Library Journal Review
At Dublin's Seabrook College, Skippy survives the daily indignities common to a boarder's life in an elite boys school. Still, something's wrong. Why does he want to quit the swim team? Why are his grades slipping? And who's the dark-haired St. Brigid's girl Skippy is always trying to spy on with his roommate's telescope? Seabrook is the world in miniature, and its gates threaten to burst from the hugger-mugger of cruelty, scandal, and materialism teeming within. It takes Skippy's tragic death and a sequence of events both hilarious and horrifying to recover the consolations provided by sympathy and friendship. Whether these will be enough to redeem Seabrook remains anyone's guess, though Murray suggests that a fleeting sense of grace may be all we can hope for and more than we deserve. Verdict Murray's second novel (after An Evening of Long Goodbyes) is almost flawless, a gift for fans of character and plot. In addition to his masterly use of James Joyce and Robert Graves throughout, Murray has created a social realism that holds its own with that of Dickens. Skippy Dies deserves to be widely read and loved. [Also available as a three-volume paperback boxed set, ISBN 978-0-86547-948-7, $30; see Prepub Alert, LJ 4/15/10.]-J. Greg Matthews, Washington State Univ. Lib., Pullman (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Excerpts
Excerpts
In winter months, from his seat in the middle desk of the middle row, Howard used to look out the window of the History Room and watch the whole school go up in flames. The rugby pitches, the basketball court, the car park and the trees beyond - for one beautiful instant everything would be engulfed; and though the spell was quickly broken - the light deepening and reddening and flattening out, leaving the school and its environs intact - you would know at least that the day was almost over. Today he stands at the head of the class: the wrong angle and the wrong time of year to view the sunset. He knows, however, that fifteen minutes remain on the clock, and so, pinching his nose, sighing imperceptibly, he tries again. 'Come on, now. The main protagonists. Just the main ones. Anybody?' The torpid silence remains undisturbed. The radiators are blazing, though it is not particularly cold outside: the heating system is elderly and erratic, like most things at this end of the school, and over the course of the day the heat builds to a swampy, malarial fug. Howard complains, of course, like the other teachers, but he is secretly not ungrateful; combined with the powerful soporific effects of history itself, it means the disorder levels of his later classes rarely extend beyond a low drone of chatter and the occasional paper aeroplane. 'Anyone?' he repeats, looking over the class, deliberately ignoring Ruprecht Van Doren's upstretched hand, beneath which the rest of Ruprecht strains breathlessly. The rest of the boys blink back at Howard as if to reproach him for disturbing their peace. In Howard's old seat, Daniel 'Skippy' Juster stares catatonically into space, for all the world as if he's been drugged; in the back-row suntrap, Henry Lafayette has made a little nest of his arms in which to lay his head. Even the clock sounds like it's half asleep. 'We've been talking about this for the last two days. Are you telling me no one can name a single one of the countries involved? Come on, you're not getting out of here till you've shown me that you know this.' 'Uruguay?' Bob Shambles incants vaguely, as if summoning the answer from magical vapours. 'No,' Howard says, glancing down at the book spread open on his lectern just to make sure. 'Known at the time as "the war to end all wars",' the caption reads, below a picture of a vast, water-logged moonscape from which all signs of life, natural or man-made, have been comprehensively removed. 'The Jews?' Ultan O'Dowd says. 'The Jews are not a country. Mario?' 'What?' Mario Bianchi's head snaps up from whatever he is attending to, probably his phone, under the desk. 'Oh, it was ... it was - ow, stop - sir, Dennis is feeling my leg! Stop feeling me, feeler!' 'Stop feeling his leg, Dennis.' 'I wasn't, sir!' Dennis Hoey, all wounded innocence. On the blackboard, 'MAIN' - Militarism, Alliances, Industrialization, Nationalism - copied out of the textbook at the start of class, is slowly bleached out by the lowering sun. 'Yes, Mario?' 'Uh ...' Mario prevaricates. 'Well, Italy ...' 'Italy was in charge of the catering,' Niall Henaghan suggests. 'Hey,' Mario warns. 'Sir, Mario calls his wang Il Duce,' says Dennis. 'Sir!' 'Dennis.' 'But he does - you do, I've heard you. "Time to rise, Duce," you say. "Your people await you, Duce."' 'At least I have a wang, and am not a boy with ... Instead of a wang, he has just a blank piece of ...' 'I feel we're straying off the point here,' Howard intervenes. 'Come on, guys. The protagonists of the First World War. I'll give you a clue. Germany. Germany was involved. Who were Germany's allies - yes, Henry?' as Henry Lafayette, whatever he is dreaming of, emits a loud snort. Hearing his name, he raises his head and gazes at Howard with dizzy, bewildered eyes. 'Elves?' he ventures. The classroom explodes into hysterics. 'Well, what was the question?' Henry asks, somewhat woundedly. Howard is on the brink of accepting defeat and beginning the class all over again. A glance at the clock, however, absolves him from any further effort today, so instead he directs them back to the textbook, and has Geoff Sproke read out the poem reproduced there. '"In Flanders Fields",' Geoff obliges. 'By Lieutenant John McCrae.' 'John McGay,' glosses John Reidy. 'That's enough.' '"In Flanders fields,"' Geoff reads, '"the poppies blow": 'Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived -' At this point the bell rings. In a single motion the daydreaming and somnolent snap awake, grab their bags, stow their books and move as one for the door. 'For tomorrow, read the end of the chapter,' Howard calls over the melee. 'And while you're at it, read the stuff you were supposed to read for today.' But the class has already fizzed away, and Howard is left as he always is, wondering if anyone has been listening to a single thing he's said; he can practically see his words crumpled up on the floor. He packs away his own book, wipes clean the board and sets off to fight his way through the home-time throng to the staff room. In Our Lady's Hall, hormonal surges have made giants and midgets of the crowd. The tang of adolescence, impervious to deodorant or opened windows, hangs heavy, and the air tintinnabulates with bleeps, chimes and trebly shards of music as two hundred mobile phones, banned during the school day, are switched back on with the urgency of divers reconnecting to their oxygen supply. From her alcove a safe elevation above it, the plaster Madonna with the starred halo and the peaches-and-cream complexion pouts coquettishly at the rampaging maleness below. 'Hey, Flubber!' Dennis Hoey scampers across Howard's path to waylay William 'Flubber' Cooke. 'Hey, I just wanted to ask you a question?' 'What?' Flubber immediately suspicious. 'Uh, I was just wondering - are you a bummer tied to a tree?' Brows creasing, Flubber - fourteen stone and on his third trip through second year - turns this over. 'It's not a trick or anything,' promises Dennis. 'I just wanted to know, you know, if you're a bummer tied to a tree.' 'No,' Flubber resolves, at which Dennis takes flight, declaring exuberantly, 'Bummer on the loose! Bummer on the loose!' Flubber lets out a roar and prepares to give chase, then stops abruptly and ducks off in the other direction as the crowd parts and a tall, cadaverous figure comes striding through. Father Jerome Green: teacher of French, coordinator of Seabrook's charitable works, and by some stretch the school's most terrifying personage. Wherever he goes it is with two or three bodies' worth of empty space around him, as if he's accompanied by an invisible retinue of pitchfork-wielding goblins, ready to jab at anyone who happens to be harbouring an impure thought. As he passes, Howard musters a weak smile; the priest glares back at him the same way he does at everyone, with a kind of ready, impersonal disapproval, so adept at looking into man's soul and seeing sin, desire, ferment that he does it now like ticking a box. Sometimes Howard feels dispiritedly as if not one thing has changed here in the ten years since he graduated. The priests in particular bring this out in him. The hale ones are still hale, the doddery ones still dodder; Father Green still collects canned food for Africa and terrorizes the boys, Father Laughton still gets teary-eyed when he presents the works of Bach to his unheeding classes, Father Foley still gives 'guidance' to troubled youngsters, invariably in the form of an admonition to play more rugby. On bad days Howard sees their endurance as a kind of personal rebuke - as if that almost-decade of life between matriculation and his ignominious return here had, because of his own ineptitude, been rolled back, struck from the record, deemed merely so much fudge. Of course this is pure paranoia. The priests are not immortal. The Holy Paraclete Fathers are experiencing the same problem as every other Catholic order: they are dying out. Few of the priests in Seabrook are under sixty, and the newest recruit to the pastoral programme - one of an ever-dwindling number - is a young seminarian from somewhere outside Kinshasa; when the school principal, Father Desmond Furlong, fell ill at the beginning of September, it was a layman - economics teacher Gregory L. Costigan - who took the reins, for the first time in Seabrook's history. Leaving behind the wood-panelled halls of the Old Building, Howard passes up the Annexe, climbs the stairs, and opens, with the usual frisson of weirdness, the door marked 'Staff-room'. Inside, a half-dozen of his colleagues are kvetching, marking homework or changing their nicotine patches. Without addressing anyone or otherwise signalling his presence, Howard goes to his locker and throws a couple of books and a pile of copies into his briefcase; then, moving crab-like to avoid eye contact, he steals out of the room again. He clatters back down the stairs and the now-deserted corridor, eyes fixed deter-minedly on the exit - when he is arrested by the sound of a young female voice. It appears that, although the bell for the end of the school day rang a good five minutes ago, class in the Geography Room is still in full swing. Crouching slightly, Howard peers through the narrow window set in the door. The boys inside show no sign of impatience; in fact, by their expressions, they are quite oblivious to the passage of time. The reason for this stands at the head of the class. Her name is Miss McIntyre; she is a substitute. Howard has caught glimpses of her in the staff room and on the corridor, but he hasn't yet managed to speak to her. In the cavernous depths of the Geography Room, she draws the eye like a flame. Her blonde hair has that cascading quality you normally see only in TV ads for shampoo, complemented by a sophisticated magnolia two-piece more suited to a boardroom than a transition-year class; her voice, while soft and melodious, has at the same time an ungainsayable quality, an undertone of command. In the crook of her arm she cradles a globe, which while she speaks she caresses absently as if it were a fat, spoiled housecat; it almost seems to purr as it revolves langorously under her fingertips. '... just beneath the surface of the Earth,' she is saying, 'temperatures so high that the rock itself is molten - can anyone tell me what it's called, this molten rock?' 'Magma,' croak several boys at once. 'And what do you call it, when it bursts up onto the Earth's surface from a volcano?' 'Lava,' they respond tremulously. 'Excellent! And millions of years ago, there was an enormous amount of volcanic activity, with magma boiling up over the entire surface of the Earth non-stop. The landscape around us today -' she runs a lacquered fingernail down a swelling ridge of mountain '- is mostly the legacy of this era, when the whole planet was experiencing dramatic physical changes. I suppose you could call it Earth's teenage years!' The class blushes to its collective roots and stares down at its textbook. She laughs again, and spins the globe, snapping it under her fingertips like a musician plucking the strings of a double bass, then catches sight of her watch. 'Oh my gosh! Oh, you poor things, I should have let you out ten minutes ago! Why didn't someone say something?' The class mumbles inaudibly, still looking at the book. 'Well, all right ...' She turns to write their homework on the blackboard, reaching up so that her skirt rises to expose the back of her knees; moments later the door opens, and the boys troop reluctantly out. Howard, affecting to study the photographs on the noticeboard of the Hillwalking Club's recent outing to Djouce Mountain, watches from the corner of his eye until the flow of grey jumpers has ceased. When she fails to appear, he goes back to investi- 'Oh!' 'Oh my God, I'm so sorry.' He hunkers down beside her and helps her re-amass the pages that have fluttered all over the gritty corridor floor. 'I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. I was just rushing back to a ... a meeting ...' 'That's all right,' she says, 'thanks,' as he places a sheaf of Ordnance Survey maps on top of the stack she's gathered back in her arms. 'Thank you,' she repeats, looking directly into his eyes, and continuing to look into them as they rise in unison to their feet, so that Howard, finding himself unable to look away, feels a brief moment of panic, as if they have somehow become locked together, like those apocryphal stories you hear about the kids who get their braces stuck together while kissing and have to get the fire brigade to cut them out. 'Sorry,' he says again, reflexively. 'Stop apologizing,' she laughs. He introduces himself. 'I'm Howard Fallon. I teach History. You're standing in for Finian Ó Dálaigh?' 'That's right,' she says. 'Apparently he's going to be out till Christmas, whatever happened to him.' 'Gallstones,' Howard says. 'Oh,' she says. Howard wishes he could unsay gallstones. 'So,' he rebegins effortfully, 'I'm actually on my way home. Can I give you a lift?' She cocks her head. 'Didn't you have a meeting?' 'Yes,' he remembers. 'But it isn't really that important.' 'I have my own car, thanks all the same,' she says. 'But I suppose you could carry my books, if you like.' 'Okay,' Howard says. Possibly the offer is ironic, but before she can retract it he removes the stack of binders and textbooks from her hands and, ignoring the homicidal looks from a small clump of her pupils still mooning about the corridor, walks alongside her towards the exit. 'So, how are you finding it?' he asks, attempting to haul the conversation to a more equilibrious state. 'Have you taught much before, or is this your first time?' 'Oh -' she blows upwards at a wayward strand of golden hair '- I'm not a teacher by profession. I'm just doing this as a favour for Greg, really. Mr Costigan, I mean. God, I'd forgotten about this Mister, Miss stuff. It's so funny. Miss McIntyre.' 'Staff are allowed to use first names, you know.' 'Mmm ... Actually I'm quite enjoying being Miss McIntyre. Anyhow, Greg and I were talking one day and he was saying they were having problems finding a good substitute, and it so happens that once upon a time I had fantasies of being a teacher, and I was between contracts, so I thought why not?' 'What's your field normally?' He holds open the main door for her and they step out into the autumn air, which has grown cold and crisp. 'Investment banking?' Howard receives this information with a studied neutrality, then says casually, 'I used to work in that area myself, actually. Spent about two years in the City. Futures, primarily.' Excerpted from Skippy Dies by Paul Murray. Copyright (c) 2010 by Paul Murray. Published in 2010 by Faber And Faber, Inc. All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher. Excerpted from Skippy Dies by Paul Murray All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
