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Summary
Summary
James "Hercules" Martino has until the end of the summer (a.k.a. two weeks) to accomplish the
twelve tasks given to him by his Uncle Anthony. The tasks will take him to the far reaches of Baltimore, lead him to a Beautiful and Unattainable Woman, and change the way he sees his past, present, and future.
Spare in words, but abundant in big ideas and laugh out loud humor, James Proimos has crafted a novel for any teenager who's ever had a complicated relationship with a parent. In other words, everyone.
Author Notes
James Proimos is married to a Beautiful and Attainable Woman and they live on a small horse farm outside of Baltimore. He has written several books for children, but 12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn is his first novel for young adults.
Reviews (3)
School Library Journal Review
Gr 10 Up-Hercules Martino, 16, sits in a room full of his famous father's admirers listening to mourners shower the closed coffin with gushing eulogies. Hercules, however, can't quite make himself say anything nice about the man. After the funeral, his mother sends him to finish out the summer with his bachelor uncle. On the train ride to Baltimore, the teen sits next to a "Strange Beautiful Unattainable Woman" and thinks he must have her. When she gets off, she leaves her book behind. From that point on, she becomes a much-needed distraction for Hercules, as well as part of the 12 tasks his uncle assigns him to complete during his two-week stay. His first task is to choose a mission. He opts to find the Strange Beautiful Unattainable Woman and return her book. As Hercules halfheartedly completes the tasks, he finds small moments of everyday magic and discovers new aspects of himself, his family, and life. In a minimum of pages, Hercules charms readers with humor and honesty, often in raw language, and his story will appeal to those who have admired the passing Strange Beautiful Unattainable person, including reluctant readers.-Mindy Whipple, West Jordan Library, UT (c) Copyright 2011. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Publisher's Weekly Review
Time and again, picture-book creator Proimos has demonstrated a rock-solid sense of humor and outside-the-box thinking. His first book for teens is no different, opening a promising new chapter in his career. Sixteen-year-old James Martino, nicknamed Hercules, is spending the summer in Baltimore with his Uncle Anthony, who has given him a list of 12 tasks to accomplish (one even involves cleaning a stable). It's meant to stave off boredom and maybe help Hercules deal with the recent death of his father, a beloved self-help author and talk-show host. Beloved by all but Hercules, that is, who eulogizes his father thusly: "He was an ass." In chapters lasting just a page or so, Hercules gives a blunt and blisteringly funny account of his misadventures ("Horses are running everywhere. We are in the jeep. Chasing them. Through streets. Through other people's farms. Through hell and high water, really"), which revolve around his efforts to reconnect with a "Strange Beautiful Unattainable Woman" from the train to Baltimore. Proimos fully inhabits the mind and voice of his hero, whose almost mythic journey offers moments hilarious, heartbreaking, and triumphant. Ages 14-up. (Nov.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Kirkus Review
Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Excerpts
Excerpts
1 The casket is closed. It was a plane crash, after all. The pews overfloweth. As do the sentiments of the never-ending line of avid admirers, casual acquaintances, business associates, relatives, and what have you that take their turn at the podium on the church stage. One person leaves, another takes his or her place. It's been going on for hours. A chubby lady wobbles to the microphone: "He was as fabulous as a man could be. He was rich, but he was charitable. He was strong, he was sensitive. I was lucky to know him. We were all lucky to know him." She wobbles off. A tall man in a black suit with a big red bow tie sprints up to the pulpit: "He was a god. A god, I tell you." He sprints back to his seat. An entire family, one of them holding a crying baby, gets up there and sings "The Wind Beneath My Wings." Now the whole place is bawling. There is a long silence. Suddenly, all eyes turn to me. I seem to be the last person who might have something to say. I slowly walk up to the front of the church. I stand at the podium. I clear my throat. "He was an ass. My father was a complete and total ass." Text copyright (c) 2011 by James Proimos Excerpted from 12 Things to Do Before You Crash and Burn by James Proimos All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
