Boris Yellnikoff is a lifelong New York resident who attempts to impress his ideologies of religion, relationships, and the randomness of existence onto anyone who will listen. But when he begrudgingly allows Melodie St. Ann Celestine, a naïve Mississippi runaway, to live in his apartment, his reclusive rages give way to an unlikely friendship and Boris begins to mold the impressionable young girl's worldly views to match his own. When it comes to love, 'whatever works' is his motto, but his already perplexed life complicates itself further when Melodie's parents eventually track her down.