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Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Acknowledgements   Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73 Chapter 74 Chapter 75   Epilogue Titles by MaryJanice Davidson UNDEAD AND UNWED UNDEAD AND UNEMPLOYED UNDEAD AND UNAPPRECIATED UNDEAD AND UNRETURNABLE UNDEAD AND UNPOPULAR UNDEAD AND UNEASY UNDEAD AND UNWORTHY UNDEAD AND UNWELCOME UNDEAD AND UNFINISHED   DERIK'S BANE   SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES SWIMMING WITHOUT A NET FISH OUT OF WATER   Titles by MaryJanice Davidson and Anthony Alongi   JENNIFER SCALES AND THE ANCIENT FURNACE JENNIFER SCALES AND THE MESSENGER OF LIGHT THE SILVER MOON ELM: A JENNIFER SCALES NOVEL SERAPH OF SORROW: A JENNIFER SCALES NOVEL RISE OF THE POISON MOON: A JENNIFER SCALES NOVEL Anthologies   CRAVINGS (with Laurell K. Hamilton, Rebecca York, Eileen Wilks)   BITE (with Laurell K. Hamilton, Charlaine Harris, Angela Knight, Vickie Taylor)   KICK ASS (with Maggie Shayne, Angela Knight, Jacey Ford)   MEN AT WORK (with Janelle Denison, Nina Bangs)   DEAD AND LOVING IT   SURF'S UP (with Janelle Denison, Nina Bangs)   MYSTERIA (with P. C. Cast, Gena Showalter, Susan Grant)   OVER THE MOON (with Angela Knight, Virginia Kantra, Sunny)   DEMON'S DELIGHT (with Emma Holly, Vickie Taylor, Catherine Spangler)   DEAD OVER HEELS   MYSTERIA LANE (with P. C. Cast, Gena Showalter, Susan Grant) THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R ORL, England Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen's Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi--110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa   Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R ORL, England   This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.   This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, andincidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.   Copyright © 2010 by MaryJanice Alongi.   All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions. BERKLEY® SENSATION and the "B" design are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.   Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data   Davidson, MaryJanice. p. cm. ISBN: 9781101188545 1. Taylor, Betsy (Fictitious character)--Fiction. 2. Sinclair, Eric (Fictitious character)--Fiction. 3. Vampires--Fiction. 4. Hell--Fiction. 5. Thanksgiving Day--Fiction. I. Title. PS3604.A949U'.6--dc22 2010011125     For Sarah and Sherrilyn and Jen and Lisa and Vicky and Marissa, who helped me bring my bad self back to my bad self, and never once asked me for anything. Acknowledgments Okay, so, at the end of the day, when it's time to write a book, it's just me and the computer ... me, glaring balefully at same; computer refusing to make eye contact in the childish way it has. (I should probably rewrite that: it should be the computer and me , right? Cuz I'm tryin' to write good n' stuff. Enh. I've already lost interest.) But! For me to have the time to sit my big white butt down in the seat and get the work done? Tons of people help with that. And since I willfully ignore them most of the time, when I'm not figuring out how to frame them for felony assault, I'll go on ahead and drop a few names. First, many thanks to my valiant yet self-effacing assistant, Tracy Fritze. The poor woman no doubt assumed, well over a year ago, that it'd be a typical office job. Working for a writer was probably like working for an accountant: it sounded important but was ultimately mind-numbingly dull. Sure, her workplace was my very own home, but how much different would it be from driving to an office three days a week? Tracy likely assumed her duties would fall along the lines of word processing, setting up meetings, arranging interviews, proofing ARCs, booking speaking engagements, working with copyeditors, and occasionally running tornado drills. Instead, the poor woman has been forced, in pretty rapid succession, to endure: being greeted by my pantsless son on more than one occasion, being interviewed by a German magazine (them: "How terrific is it to work for the MaryJanice Davidson?" Tracy: "Um ... "), fighting off our overly affectionate dogs, enduring the smells of McDonald's chicken nuggets and pots of chocolate Malt O'Meal when she's trying to eat like a grown-up (and set me an example of same), and ceaselessly trying to encourage me to sit down to make decisions (on PR products, on book signings, on answering reader questions, on turning in interview questions the day I agreed to do so, on why I shouldn't wolf down a half dozen Reese's Cups at 9:30 a.m.) like a grown-up. Not to mention being locked out of my house when I've crawled back into bed with a migraine (see above: greeted by pantsless son: "Hi, Tracy. Mom's sick. Can I have some Malt O'Meal?"), and holding her ground when I ruthlessly set the dogs upon her (I found my dogs are especially fond of her if I rub bacon grease into her shoes while she's hard at work in the office). Tracy is an assistant as the dictionary defines it: she contributes to the fulfillment of a need; she assumes some of my responsibilities. She rescues me from the minutiae that nearly everyone has to endure if they want to be a functioning member of society. She's smart, she's quick, she never has to be told anything twice, she's discreet (nobody knew about my pantsless son or Malt O'Mealgate until I stuck it right in my acknowledgments page). Also, she smells terrific. Thanks are also due, as always, to the awesomest of awesome husbands, Anthony Alongi (he also cowrites the Jennifer Scales series with me). He tirelessly reads, suggests, edits, mocks, enrages, inspires, and annoys. Without him, there's absolutely nothing for me. My folks and sister, for being completely unwavering in their support, one hundred percent of the time. They wouldn't abandon that stance if I stuck a gun in their ear. Do not ask me how I know that. The Magic Widows, who have endured me for years and pretend that I'm worth the trouble. The best of agents, Ethan Ellenberg, who paid me the ultimate compliment of calling me low maintenance. That was a wonderful lie for him to tell! The always terrific Cindy Hwang, who reads my book suggestions and synopses, edits my manuscripts, exudes copious enthusiasm for same, and doesn't smack herself on the forehead when I can see it, or hear it. (Though I do occasionally hear odd background sounds when I'm on the phone with her.) And to Leis Pederson, kick-ass assistant editor, who is repeatedly forced to track me down and corner me like a rat to get edits out of me, but does it with such style I feel wanted, not stalked. Thanks also to the Yahoos, my fans on Facebook, the readers kind enough to write to me, and the readers who don't go near Facebook or the Web, who don't have computers but who write to me, care of my publisher, with real pens on real paper. (I feel bad I received one such snail mail and instantly assumed, as comedian Jim Gaffigan suggested, that someone had been kidnapped.) I write for myself--I always have. I think if you write for other people, the end result is something of a cheat, for you and for them. But you guys make the writing that much more fun, for which I am continually humbled and slavishly grateful.   --MaryJanice, Winter 2009 Author's Note I've got nothing against Claes Oldenburg or his wife, Coosje van Bruggen. And I've got nothing against the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. But at the end of the day, it's just a giant spoon. A spoon! The Story So Far Betsy ("Please don't call me Elizabeth") Taylor was run over by a Pontiac Aztek almost three years ago. She woke up the queen of the vampires and in dazzling succession (but no real order), bit her friend Detective Nick Berry, moved from a Minnesota suburb to a mansion in St. Paul, solved various murders, attended the funerals of her father and stepmother, became her half brother's guardian, still avoids the room housing the Book of the Dead (Book of the Dead, noun: the vampire bible written by an insane vampire, which causes madness if read too long in one sitting), cured her best friend's cancer, visited her alcoholic grandfather (twice), solved a number of kidnappings, realized her husband/king, Eric Sinclair, could read her thoughts (she could always read his), found out the Fiends had been up to no good (Fiend, noun: a vampire given only animal [dead] blood, a vampire who quickly goes feral). Also, roommate Antonia, a werewolf from Cape Cod, took a bullet in the brain for Betsy, saving her life. The stories about bullets not hurting vampires are not true; plug enough lead into brain matter and that particular denizen of the undead will never get up again. Garrett, Antonia's lover, killed himself the instant he realized she was dead. As if this wasn't enough of a buzzkill, Betsy soon found herself summoned to Cape Cod, Massachusetts, where Antonia's Pack leaders lived. Though they were indifferent to the caustic werewolf in life, now that Antonia was dead in service to a vampire, several thousand pissed-off werewolves had just a few questions. While Betsy, Sinclair, BabyJon, and Jessica were on the Cape answering these questions, Marc, Laura, and Tina remained in Minnesota (Tina to help run things while her monarchs were away, Marc because he couldn't get the vacation time, and Laura because she was quietly cracking up). They hadn't been gone long before Tina disappeared and Marc noticed that devil worshippers kept showing up in praise of Laura, the Antichrist. In a muddled, misguided attempt to help (possibly brought on by the stress of his piss-poor love life ... an ER doc, Marc worked hours that would make a union-less sweatshop manager cringe), he suggested to Laura that she put her "minions" to work helping in soup kitchens and such. Excerpted from Undead and Unfinished by MaryJanice Davidson All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.